Domestic Violence and Verbal Abuse

While domestic violence laws are well-intentioned, the main thing they are used for is to give women an advantage in court. I don’t know what district you are in, but in my district, most of the judges are strongly bias toward women. If you really fear for your safety, then take out a restraining order on your wife. If she talks to an attorney, she will soon be taking out a restraining order on you.

When a woman takes out a restraining order on a man, he gets to collect a few personal items, is removed from the home, and gets only limited visits with his children. I would really like to hear what happens when a husband takes out a restraining order on his wife. My guess is that the judge would laugh at him and deny the request.

Sadly most of the things that I read are about domestic violence against women. My husband was verbally abused through all 15 years of his marriage to his ex. Most people automatically assume that because he is male, a man has power over his wife. The idea that a wife can abuse her husband seems laughable, but I believe that is simply because of the ego. Most men do not want to admit that they are being abused physically or emotionally. And from some of the things I have read, women can be oftentimes more brutal and devious than men with their verbal and physical attacks. Abuse is abuse, any way you look at it and luckily the statutes on domestic violence does not see gender. Check out www.batteredmen.com.

These are the statutes:
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Domestic violence against men is an under reported problem in this country. All victims of domestic violence, male or female are entitled to and should seek help from the court system.

Simple bad language is not enough to constitute domestic violence. Verbal abuse can be considered domestic violence if it rises to the level that it causes severe emotional distress or fear of continued harassment. That is determined on a case by case basis and is based on the feelings of each particular victim. If she is breaking things by throwing them at you, that would certainly be an act of domestic violence.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Are these affecting her for the custody of our child? How I can prove all these reactions of her?
I have been taking pictures of some small bruises, breaking lips, etc. Also, I have been recording and video taping fights.
Is this will help? What else I can do?

If your spouse is committing acts of domestic violence the court will definitely consider that evidence. If these acts occur in front of the children, that will have a significant impact on custody, it can be very damaging for the children to witness domestic violence and live in that type of atmosphere. You should document every instance of domestic violence and should seek a protective order to ensure your safety and the safety of your children.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

What about if she denied all?
One thing that worries me is that she is from here and I am not. My English is not very good and I am worry that if we are going to court the judge goes in her side. That is the reason that I am trying to get more evidence.

Also, is this will affect her alimony?

The court can consider all factors when making an award of alimony. If you were the victim of domestic violence, I believe the court will take that into consideration when making an alimony award. It is likely that she will deny all the allegations in court, the best that you can do is go to court and tell the truth. Judges are usually pretty good at determining who is telling the truth.

Ure: I have represented many male victims of domestic violence. They are treated the same way as female victims.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Hello,
I would like to know more about “Domestic Violence” and “verbal abuse” against husband. We always talk about Domestic Violence against woman.
I have a wife that is aggressive almost every time we disagree or fight. We have a 5 years old boy and he is seeing this all the time. She also said a lot of bad words in from of the child (SOB, ■■■■■■■, son of ■■■■■, loser, you are gay, etc.). Sometime she breaks things.

Thanks,