Think Divorce isn't a Game? Think again!


Dear Train Wreck:

Greetings. I think I answered your other post earlier, but if not, please let me know.

Now, I agree that SOMETIMES domestic violence restraining orders are misused, but generally they are obtained for the right reason. Some people don’t know how to keep their hands to themselves during disputes with their spouses.

Nevertheless, I truly believe you. First, get rid of the friend who “skunked” you and sent your e-mail to her. Next, get a tape recorder or video recorder and record everything she says outside your door or through the window. Refuse to speak to her. Call the police and remain in the home. YOU COULD BE ARRESTED just for talking to her, even if she initiated it. No, you don’t want the police there, but I would rather have them there for her, then have them there arresting you when she gets angry at your move.

You don’t have to be scared of her, but you can ask that the order be dropped and dismissed if she is contacting you now, so record it in a way that you can show the court (I really like the video taping her out of your window). Smooth sailing on these rough waters!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


My soon to be Ex got a really unjustifiable restraining order… She has gotten 5 of them on ex boyfriends over the years. She uses them as a tool to control conversation until she wants to talk and reconcile, then she has them dropped. Seven years and multiple relationships proves it. Unfortunately, all a man has to do is say “BOO” to a woman and if she sez she was scared, plays the victim and let you be physically bigger than she, buddy you gotta PPO against you Guaranteed! Happens Everyday!

Well, after my ex left our apartment, I changed my home number, cell number, work number and email address. To prevent her from calling the providers and using my name to get the new information, I paid the bills up and switched companies! I then moved and got a luxury home near Piper Glen and put the utilities in someone elses name.

She traced the IP address from an email I sent to a mutual friend that he forward to her, called TimeWarner and got the address for the account. She has been to my home twice, in the past 10 days in an effort to talk/reconcile. The first time she came by at 1:45 am. I did not let her in and she told me she was still praying for our marriage through the door and left. Today she comes by again, we talk for 10 minutes I tell her not to come by my home again, there is nothing here for her, remind her of her PPO against me she sez she can’t promise me she will stay away. I end the conversation, shut the door she leaves and comes back 10 minutes later. I don’t answer the door.

I live in a prestigious area and I don’t want the Police here for nonsense… I do not feel threatend by her but she admits she will be back again… Asking the court to drop her PPO against me, reduces her reason to stay away… and being a 280lb weight lifter
I don’t think I can pull off the “I’m scared” routine when she weighs 115 lbs soaking wet. Besides, all a PPO does is give a paper trail after you are hurt… What can I do???

Open to any advice not just the Lawyers… By the way Janet, I gotta another question that wasn’t answered from earlier this week. Thanks for your help.

No one makes you inferior without your permission. - Eleanor Roosevelt