I don’t see how she can prevent you from moving to be nearer to your children. I also don’t see how she can prevent any contact with the kids unless there is some violence or abuse issue, which seems unlikely because you’ve had visitation all this time. I would be interested in knowing what the “order” says.

I also don’t see how any court would disapprove of having a parent move across country to locate in a town to be nearer to their children. How could it NOT be in the children’s best interest to have both parent near them? Once again, that is assuming there are no underlying issues we dont’ know about.

Please keep us updated on this issue. I’m sure others have been in the same situation.

Sounds like a controlling, angry, selfish Mom wanting the kids to herself…which is SOOO unfair to the children [:(] [V]


What I am confused about is how an emergency custody order preventing all contact between me and my children could have been granted. I thought ECOs were only given if it is necessary to protect children from some kind of abusive situation. While I wouldn’t put it past my former wife to make such an accusation, I guess I’m in total shock that she would make such an argument. I haven’t so much as popped one of their bottoms in almost 3 years. It was me that pushed my former wife to eliminate spanking… I just can’t imagine what in the world she could have said to get an emergency custody order preventing me from even speaking to my children.

Are ECOs granted for reasons other than abuse? How else could a court have cut off my access to my kids? I call them every day on the phone (as I have for a year) to ask about their school day and see if they need help with homework or anything. I was supposed to see them tomorrow. Having all my contact suddenly cut off is very troubling to me.


An emergency custody order is usually only granted when there is an immediate risk of irreparable harm to the child, or the risk that the minor child will be removed from the jurisdiction for the purposes of evading the jurisdiction of the courts. Without reviewing the order I cannot tell you exaclty why it was granted. You probably need to get an attorney right away.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


Do you think it’s possible that the part about no contact with your children is not actually in the order? You should have a copy of that order in hand prior to not contacting your children. She obviously knows where you are so you can be served. Is it possible that she hasn’t gotten an order but is simply trying to keep you from the children until she can move???


I flew to NC yesterday and picked up the order. My ex wife has indeed accused me of molesting my 4 year old daughter. I have retained an attorney.

I was advised by two attorneys yesterday that this is the gravest thing I could have been accused of and that it is a frequent tactic of only the most vindictive of ex spouses.

Some of you didn’t believe me a few weeks ago when I made a tirade about how difficult a woman my ex wife is. Well, how does she sound now?

Here I am, a month away from moving across country for the sole purpose of being near my children, and I get hit with a sexual abuse allegation. A team of social service “experts” are going to talk with my daughter over this month to try to determine if I molested her. If they suggest that she has been touched then I will lose 100% of my visitation rights with all my children, I will have to pay thousands of dollars in my ex wife’s legal fees in addition to the thousands of dollars I’m spending on my own legal fees, I can go to jail, and my reptuation will follow me the rest of my life.

I’ve read everywhere that the sexual abuse allegation is called the “nuclear option” because it starts an instant all out war. At this point there can be no negotiation and polite mediation. If my ex’s false allegations are confirmed by these social service champions then my relationship with my children is over.

How can we have a system that allows this to happen to innocent people? How is it that so many ex wives can use this tactic and get away with it? I don’t understand.

You can be sure of this though… I’ve hired a monster of an attorney to defend me and I’m going to fight to my last breath.


I’m so sorry…I will say a prayer for you.


This is a terrible situation and I honestly hope for your child’s sake and your own that this is found to be false and that your attorney makes sure that the ex is held accountable. I know that abuse occurs and that it has devastating results, but to accuse someone just to keep them away from their child…this is the worst kind of parent. Just thinking of what your daughter will have to endure because her mother has accused you…these are not things a 4 year old should even know about much less associate with a parent. This is disgusting.
If/when all this is resolved…please make sure that the ex is held accountable for slander and defamation of character. This is why cases of real abuse are so difficult to prove.
Didn’t you post about the ex’s new husband or boyfriend not wanting you to have contact with her? Have you had a background check done on him? This is a terrible suggestion, and God be with you, but would it be possible that IF evidence of abuse is found that they could also find out when? I mean…if it’s recent…why would the ex wait to file this? Why wouldn’t she do this right after your last visit instead of waiting until she knows you are moving…?
My thoughts are with you and please keep us posted!

EDIT: Check out the information on this site: www.deltabravo.net. There is a whole section on false allegations under their FAQ’s.


My former wife ran off with our children when I discovered she was having an affair. We were divorced a year later. We have an out of court separation agreement that grants me joint legal and physical custody of the children. Whenever I planned to relocate to be closer to my kids to observe more time my ex would threaten to move. At the time I lived in a place with little income potential and was driving 12 hours round trip to observe every other weekend which became intolerable. I decided that I would move out of state for a year when a job opportunity came up that would give me enough money to afford a custody battle. All along my children and my ex knew that at the end of the year I would be relocating to their town. I have flown across the country every month for a year to observe time with them. My house is now on the market and my ex knows that I’ll be moving to her town within 1-2 months. Tonight I have a flight scheduled to NC to visit my kids for this month.

Today I got an email from my ex stating that she has obtained an emergency custody order and that I am not allowed to have any contact of any kind with my kids until our hearing in 2 weeks (which i will have to fly back to attend). As it is, all my contact with my children has apparently been severed.

I am moving soon - but I suppose she is trying to preempt my move by seeking full custody now or something… I know that she is planning on relocating soon. I don’t know the details yet. I’ll be getting a copy of the order tomorrow.