I havr read that if you file for divorce before the equitable distro has been filed, you waive your rights. Does this mean a judge decides how everything is distributed or just the defendant can no longer claim any marital property that is in the plaintiffs possession and vice versa? If my spouse is not asking for any funds from my 401k, for example, then do I need to put that on the ED form and if I do, can it read that the defendant is waiving any claim to this money? Also , can child support back charges be considered in decisions of equitable distribution?
If you do not have a claim for equitable distribution pending at the time the divorce is granted, you lose your right to it. This means that property and debts will be distributed as titled. Your 401(k) remains yours without anything in writing. You and your spouse can come to any agreement you want as it relates to equitable distribution.
Child support arrearages are not usually taken into consideration when dividing marital property and debts.