Ex moved, cant see my son


I need some advice. My ex moved to NJ about a year ago with our son. I was okay with the move as she agreed to allow me visitation. Since she has moved I have not seen my son since Christmas.
We were suppose to split summer, but she got mad at me and denied me the entire summer vacation.
I pay my child support on time, in full every month - I have no problem taking care of my son, how is it that the father doesn’t pay child support and is a dead beat dad; but mom denies visitation and everything is okay? I call to talk to him and she won’t let him get on the phone, he is too little (8yrs) for email etc. She even went so far as blocking me from her phone numbers. What is this doing to my son? Does he think I don’t care about him? I try calling a few times a week but haven’t spoken to him since July.
What can I do so I can see my son? Please help!


You need to file an action for child custody to be awarded visitation and contact with the child. I suggest you meet with an attorney in the near future to develop a plan of action.


I really don’t have extra money for a lawyer; what would I need to do to do this process on my own? How quickly can I get into court? Since I haven’t seen or talked to my son can I hold her in contempt? She hasn’t let me know anything about my son’s school, or afterschool info or medical info. When ex moved she never gave me her new address, how would I go about serving her?
Last week I asked her about confirming visitation for thanksgiving and christmas and she won’t let me see him for either holiday. How can she keep me from my son?


I strongly recommend that you do get a lawyer, however I do understand that some folks must proceed on their own. You must file an action (lawsuit) for custody with the court, and it will be several weeks before you get to a hearing. Your ex is not in contempt if there is no order in place currently.

As far as service goes, you may have service effectuated by sheriff if you can fine out a phone number for her, or where she works.


I filed a motion for visitation. I am not sure what to expect next. Do I need to schedule a court date or will they contact me?


You will need to schedule a court date, though in most counties the courts will eventually set a court date for you, however it will take longer than setting your own. I strongly suggest that you meet with an attorney to obtain representation before going to trial.


I would love to hire an attorney, but can’t afford it right now.
I am not seeking custody, I just want to set up visitation, I should be able to handle that on my own.
Since she lives 10 hours away normal visitation isn’t going to happen, so I am thinking to ask for 1/2 of the summer, everyother Thanksgiving 1/2 christmas, everyother Springbreak. I would like to include that if I choose to go to NJ as long as I give 2 wks notice I can see my son. Does that sound reasonable? Should I ask for more since I don’t see him during the school year?

How do I contact the court to schedule my day in court?


Your idea of visitation does sound reasonable given the distance, and depending on your ability to travel. You need to contact the clerk’s office to obtain a court date once you have proof your ex has been served.


What can I expect as far as who trasnports for visitation? Since she moved would she be the responsible party to bear the cost or burden of transporting?


I cannot predict what a judge will do in any give case. It really depends on the individual facts, though the argument is there for her to bear the burden.