Ex Parte Temporary Custody Order

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

My soon to be x-husband has filed a Temporary Ex Parte Custody Order that was signed on August 16th. The judge signed the Ex Parte Order per his affidavit. Our court date is 9/3/2013. He signed a custody agreement with me on 12/31/2012 that gave us half the time and each of us had joint custody with me having primary custody.

He is alleging there is drugs and alcohol in the home. We do not do drugs, but occasionally we drink. I have no problems submitting to a drug test.

He alleged our home is unclean, which is not the case. I was going to take pictures to court to show this is not true.

He alleged that my fiancee and I call my son a “fat ■■■” and a “■■■■■■” none of which is true.

He alleged that my fiancee uses the word ■■■■■■ in our home. He alleged that I drink and drive with my son in the car. Not true.

He alleged that I am an unfit parent. This is not true as I have been his primary care giver for the majority of his life and worked part-time jobs so he could come home right after school to do his homework.

He also alleged that cops are repeatedly at my home. Now this is true. My neighbor calls the cops on everyone in our neighborhood. I have even been contacted my the county because of my neighbor because a trash can lid was not on my trash can. Whats funny is that the trash can was on the other side of the home that was not even near his home. If my fiancee and I argue on the back deck he calls saying there is violence. No one in my home hits anyone and no one has ever been arrested.

My main question is what do I need to do?

Do I have people that know me go to court or can they complete an affidavit of my character that I can submit to the court?

Do I need to respond to this Ex Parte Order and Affidavit that was served on me or can I just respond to it in court?

Also, we agreed in the custody and separation agreement that if custody or the divorce was challenged that he would pay me the $6000 that I paid him in the agreement back. This was filed with the register of deeds office and notarized. This $6000 is to help me cover attorney fees if he ever challenged custody. What do I need to do to make him pay this back?

I would also like to say that I have emails from him that state that if I take him for child support (he makes $70k and I only asked for $250 per month) that he would sue me for custody. I filed the CS paperwork with CS Enforcement and then he filed this paperwork.

What avenue should I take? I am a legal assistant. Is this something that you think I can handle on my own or do you think I need an actual attorney?

Thank you for your time. I look forward to your response.

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I would also like to add that I have discussed moving out of state, but NEVER have I ever said that I would take the child with me unless we changed the agreement. In fact, I emailed my X several times asking him how he would want to handle custody if I did decide to move. If I was going to flee I certainly would not email him repeatedly and ask him his thoughts on how to handle visitation with my son. I haven’t even decided to move yet but have been throwing the idea around. This could be a year or more down the pipeline and I may not even be able to afford to move. I certainly would not move without a custody order in place. Being a legal assistant I know not to do that.

He also alleged that he thinks my son could be in danger of significant bodily harm, which is fartherest from the truth. The child barely even gets a spanking.

This is scary that a parent can just go allege this stuff and be not even be able to go to court until 10 days later.

Also, I have a note that my X’s sister wrote him that basically accuses him of molesting her when she was younger and that she was scared of him. She sent it to him at work in 2001. I have the original note and envelope. I don’t know what happened as I was not there, but she never pressed charges.

I look forward to your response and I would like to thank you for having forums like this to help good parents in crazy situations like this.

Again, thank you.

3

There are a lot of allegations in your case that you need to prepare to defend. Whether the court will allow an affidavit depends on your judge, but I would prepare to have live witnesses to be safe. I would always advise someone in your situation to seek legal counsel. These allegations are serious, and the judge may change the child custody arrangement based on them.