Hmmm…if she moved in with her ex-boyfriend, then co-habitation is taking place. I know this sounds bad…but if she is a vendictive as she says she is (telling you she hates your kids from your first marriage), then it is obvious that there is NOT a loving marriage in place.
I would still get legal advice. But if she has indicated to you that she will move in with an ex-boyfriend if you leave, then the can of worms will be opened: cohabitation = no alimony; co-habitation CAN equal opportunity and probability of sleeping with someone that’s not your spouse while married. She would be setting herself up. She doesn’t sound like a very nice person. [V]
SO…prepare yourself and get your ducks in a row.