He won't speak to me


#1

My husband left me in November. I was forced to move out by him and his parents. We lived in a trailer on his parents property. Now he lives in his parents house. I moved in February closer to work and friends. He wanted to file divorce right then but of course we have to wait a year. It seems like we were just roommates for a few years he was emotionally unavailable especially after my mother died. I have tried to reach him since moving out to see how things are going, but he refuses to speak to me or answer the phone or text me back. I recently heard he lost his job and he has a history of trying to kill/hurt himself when he loses a job he likes. He still won’t speak to me. I tried to contact his mother and she said he is fine and to never ask about him again. I get the feeling that she has helped him with divorce papers but she says she won’t speak for him. He has never really done anything for himself. I am frustrated and hurt. With no job now I wonder if he will ever file for divorce. I think he is taking classes again. It is frustrating to see him happy and doing things like when we first got married. I do not understand. I am frustrated and angry. He said he wanted to be civil and file papers together. How do I know what is going on if they don’t have my new address and none of them will speak to me???


#2

Also, our car insurance was split last month without my knowledge or consent. How is this right/legal/fair??


#3

You wrote :
“It is frustrating to see him happy and doing things like when we first got married. I do not understand. I am frustrated and angry. He said he wanted to be civil and file papers together. How do I know what is going on if they don’t have my new address and none of them will speak to me???”

Please do not be offended, but I think you should get into counseling to help with a broken and hurting heart. it sounds to me like you have had an emotionally absent marriage. When I say emotionally I mean a lack of communication to express love, encouragement, support and partnership (oneness).

As for your address, send a simple note card with your address and phone number to contact you.

After reading your post, I get the feeling you do not, or are not ready for a divorce. Have you (both of you) considered marital counseling before calling it quits? …
Just a thought…


#4

Yes I agree I have had an emotionally absent marriage. I see other married couples and the wife is treated 200% better than I ever was.

We didn’t do counseling because he refuses to do so. He says he doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to make it work. This week he contacted me and said if I was the last woman in the world he would never get back together with me. Somewhere between the time I left and now he tried to kill himself twice and has been to Duke and Holly Hill.


#5

The hardest lesson I’ve ever learned in my life is that you cannot make someone want what you want, regardless of how much you want it.

Good luck.


#6

He doesn’t like to talk with you but even though you want to help him that is really good thing. It seems you still don’t want divorce.


#7

If you think that the consequence between you and your husband are becoming very terrible, then you should leave him.
My best wishes are with you.


#8

[quote=“BenjaminGoldburd”]If you think that the consequence between you and your husband are becoming very terrible, then you should leave him.
My best wishes are with you.[/quote].

I think BenjaminGoldburd gives you better advice if you think consequence between both of you are on extreme level then you should leave him and my best wishes are always with you for you future.


#9

I left him in Feb. 2013. He left me to go live with his parents Nov. 2012. In Sept. 2013 he accused me of cheating (I didn’t) and he went off to cheat on me on purpose so I would divorce him. Although we couldn’t file divorce until Nov. 2013, he filed divorce papers in Sept. 2013, lying about the separation date. He demanded I stay home to receive the papers from the police on a saturday. He called me 13 times at work on Sept. 13, 2013 and so I had to file a restraining order because he threatened to come and “bash my face in and kill me”. In Oct. 2013 I got my restraining order for one year and he could not come within 100 ft. of me and he was not allowed to contact me except to file divorce papers. He never filed again after his previous attempt to file divorce papers in Sept. 2013 (I never received them, he put the wrong address, even though he went to my apartment twice). Early Sept. 2013 he was diagnosed with bipolar. In January 2014 I filed my divorce and it was granted by default March 2014.
It is exhilarating to be free from someone who caused me so much incredible hurt.


#10

Its totally illegal and injustice.I am quite at a loss to understand why did he do without your consent…You should not get late taking action against him…