Where to Start


Dear next30years:

First, I love that song! Next, many of my clients are leaving their spouses for the exact same reason - they have grown apart. Some try counseling and it works for them, some it does not work for.

My thoughts are that first you need to be honest with him and try to get him enrolled in counseling. Maybe you need to go also, and define it as co-parenting counseling so that you can assure it is not marriage counseling and that you are both working on divorcing. Next, I would tell you to ask him what times with your daughters he wants, instead of telling him every other weekend and one day.

I would also tell you to go and see an attorney to help draft the separation agreement. If you are willing to give him the majority of marital assets, I am sure he will agree with you sooner. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Hi, I am 34 yrs old and I have been married for 10yrs. My husband and I have 2 daughters, ages 5 and 8. My marriage has just undone itself over the past couple of years and I am not in-love with my husband anymore. He does not feel the same way. Something like this, me asking for a separation will hit him like a ton of bricks. He is not abusive that I have seen but I can assure you that he will be devasted by this. For me I just want to move on and be happy and it is not fair for any of us. And I am tired of pretending on the intimate side of things. We both work full time… He however travels 2-3 nights a week with his job and sometime he is gone for up to a week 3 or 4 times a year. I just want to know how this is going to come down when the only reason I have for wanting out is because I don’t want to be married to him anymore when I am not in love with him. Because I feel this way is sometime starts the littlest of arguments only because I don’t feel the same way about him anymore… And of couse I would want my girls to be with me and let them see him on the every other weekend schedule and a night a week if his schedule allows it… I guess I want to make this as easy as I possbily can. Also, I don’t want anything, meaning the house… I am perfectly content moving out and finding my own place. Your thoughts.