I have just discovered that my wife is having an affair, or at least I am 99.9% sure. I am still trying to learn the name of the person who she is sleeping with; so what should I do to collect solid evidence that this is happening? What is considered good evidence that will hold up in court?
Our marriage of 10 years has been very rocky in the past few years mainly because of health issues that put me on medicine that impairs my ability to perform sexually. She has expressed a lot of concern over this; so I was willing to go on Viagra (which I had been reluctant to in the past as I am a fairly young man still and already on a lot of medicine in the last year. Its also very expensive.) However once the Viagra was obtained she did everything to pretty much ignore my requests to try it out and we have not had sex in probably 6 months, maybe longer I can’t recall its been so long.
Our sex life has always been abysmal and a lot of it is my fault, I have been facing health concerns over the past 10 years which I am sure have contributed to my ability to function. I understand she is a woman with needs and shouldn’t have to live in a sexless marriage. I even told her two years ago if she wanted to go I would understand, but she swore she did not want a divorce and wanted to stay together for our girls, who are absolutely wonderful. The one thing I told her though I could not tolerate was her having an affair behind my back. She swore she had never had an affair but had thought about it, I believed her. It seems now though she has gone and done that exact thing rather than just being up front about wanting to leave. I can only assume now she wants to keep me around until she is in a better position to leave me financially or she just wants to keep me around for our girls and have her affairs on the side. (Which also has me wondering if this is not the first one.) I refuse to be used until the time is right for her, so now it seems I have little choice but to initiate divorce. My biggest concern being how it will devastate my children.
Also I would like to know when I should confront her with the affair? I have read that its stupid to confront without clear evidence because they will just deny everything and start covering their tracks better.