Husband threatening


He is trying to control you with empty threats. He can’t make you wait 3 years for a divorce, and so what if he leaves, you can still divorce him! You only have to live separate and apart for one year to get a divorce even if he doesn’t agree to a divorce. Also, in Virginia you can do an order of publication if you don’t know where he is, and still get your divorce. I am not sure what the procedure in NC is, but I am sure it would be similar if not the same. Don’t buy into his threats, do what is right for you.


thanks for your reply . I am in NC and he is threatening me with following :
He will move to other state and will not accept my divorce papers so i will never get it signed .
He will send me a divorce papers from another state and once i sign and return it to him, he will not take any action on that!! This way he will ensure i never get any divorce .
I was under the assumption that after one year of separation I can myself ask for divorce and if he is not reacheable , i can put up a public notice in a newspaper (in his last known place of residence)
and court will grant me divorce.
He is saying that he has attorney who will ensure(not sure if he is telling truth) he applies for a separate divorce application in NC and just sits on top of it without doing anything,in that case i can not make another divorce petition as there is already one pending on my name (filed by him)
Can anyone tell me if this makes any sense, i am really very much in distress ??


Wait your year and a day. File for divorce. Serve notice by publication in his last known place of residence. Have your day in court. If you have ANY evidence of what you have put in the forums regarding him attempting to prevent you getting a divorce make sure it is available when you go to court - just in case.

He does not need to be present in court and I don’t believe his signature is required. Any lawyer that ‘hinders’ your right to due process, should be reported and disbarred.

Good luck!


thanks for all the support and suggestions . Does any of the lawyers/memebers tell me if there is a specific law which stops me from filing a new divorce in case my husband has filed for separate divorce petition with the court ?
Thanks in advance


You can seek a divorce in NC after a year of separation. He really cannot stop you from getting a divorce judgment. If he makes it difficult for you to serve him the complaint for a divorce, there are ways around that too. If you meet the notice requirements, as specified in NC General Statutes, for example, publication (publishing a notice in a newspaper where you have reason to believe he is living…). Essentially, he can make it take more time, but ultimately you can obtain a divorce.

Deborah M. Throm
Rosen Law Firm
1829 E. Franklin Street, Bldg. 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.265.0017 direct
919.321.0780 main voice

4101 Lake Boone Trail
Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
919.256.1544 direct
919.787.6668 main voice

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
704.644.2531 ext. 100


I recently separated from my husband ,he is threatening me so that i come back and start to stay with him.

He is telling me a few things

  1. He will not give me divorce before 3 years
  2. He will leave this state and will not leave any address for me to contact him and i will be left with no option to get the divorce

I am really in distress , Can you please suggest what should i do in such a scenario?