I was married in July 2007, and was told of prior drug (cocaine and crack) use, that he had gone to rehab several years before we met, and was clean and would never use drugs again.
In June of 2008, I discovered a crack pipe and had it verified by a member of law enforcement. It was also verified that it had been used recently to smoke crack. When he came in from work that afternoon, I confronted him with it, and he admitted to spending money on and smoking crack. I told him simply that he had to go, that I had underage children and two grandchildren living in my house, and I would not allow them to be exposed to the potential risk of finding and/or ingesting any of his drug paraphenalia or residue. (At the time, we were living in a 2200 sq ft 4 bedroom home, purchased by me before I ever met him, and foreclosed on in 2009. My grandson was 1 at the time and his sister was 1 month old.) He agreed to move out, although I told him he could stay there for the night and sleep on the sofa in order to allow him time the next day to find another place to live.
I was diagnosed as being depressed and sent to a counsellor, who agreed that my situation would be enough to stress anyone into depression, and agreed to see my spouse and myself together in an effort to help us resolve our issues. I prayed, begged, pleaded and tried everything I could think of to get him to see that his drug addiction was destroying our marriage, and he agreed to meet with the counsellor. However, he never followed through to actually make it to a meeting, with the exception of one visit. By that point, I knew that I could not help anyone who didn’t want help, and honestly, was just tired of trying to get him to see that he needed help. In his opinion, rehab didn’t help him before, and it was a “waste of time”, and he refused to go, even though I had gone to two separate rehab centers and had brought him information on each.
Finally, I realized that the drugs were more important to him than our marriage, and that any efforts at standing by him through it meant nothing to him, and I gave up on our marriage as well.
So, my question is this:
In North Carolina, if he is employed and HAS health insurance available, and I am neither employed or insured, is there an obligation of the insured to provide health insurance for the uninsured? If so, is there a statute of limitations? He had me on his health and dental plans briefly during our marriage, but dropped me when he got mad at me.
I think it’s worth mentioning that I have asked him many times for a divorce since our separation and asked that he pay half of the fees incurred. At first, he agreed to send me half of the fee to file for divorce, but most recently, he left a message on my answering machine telling me that he had changed his mind and didn’t want a divorce. There is absolutely no chance of reconcilliation, regardless of what information I get from this post.
I hope this all makes sense, I tried to stick to the pertinent points, although there is much more to add.
Thanks in advance for your input.
No, he doesn’t have to put you on his health insurance now. If you are already on his plan (which I don’t think you are), then most likely he would have to keep you on until the divorce is finalized because most health insurance plans will not let you drop your spouse unless 1) that person is obtaining their own health insurance elsewhere or 2) that person is no longer married to you. It may still be in his best interest to cover your insurance until divorce anyway because of the little known law called the Doctrine of Necessaries. He may be pursued for any unpaid medical bills that you incur while still married.
As for the divorce, it will cost you $150 to file the Complaint. You would wait 30 days to see if he files an Answer. There is little he can do though to prevent the divorce since you’ve met the separation period. If you don’t have any issues with alimony or equitable distribution, then you should file for divorce as soon as possible.
You mentioned that after filing, I would have to wait 30 days to see if he files an answer, but I have no idea of an address for him. How would I handle that? Do I need to try to get his current address from someone? I am not even sure where he works now.
Also, as I posted before, I have no insurance now, so how do I proceed with seeking medical care? I am on blood pressure medicine, and have an outstanding doctor who understands my situation, so he has called in refills for me so far, but he wants me to come in for an evaluation before he will refill again.
My last question is in regards to alimony. How is it computed, how is it filed for, can he contest it, what are the rules governing me getting it, and how much in addition to the $150 would it cost to pursue it?
Thank you so much for you help. There are so many issues I am confused over, and overwhelmed by, that I have haven’t really talked to anyone.
Thanks again!
You will need to find a current address for him in order to have him served with your action for divorce.
As for your insurance, you will need to contact an insurance company to obtain coverage if none is offered through your employment.
Alimony is awarded on the basis of the reasonable needs of a dependant spouse, and the ability of a supporting spouse to pay. If you plan to seek Alimony, you must include a claim for it in your divorce complaint, otherwise, once you are divorced you lose your right to do so.