Janet responding to your info

And where is my manners!!! Thank for your info about the deviate… never heard of that and will look into that and see if we can get back into court.

Prime example of where a few hundred dollars invested in an attorney upfront would have saved you hundred’s of dollars in the long run. The OW’s attorney was representing her, not you and was looking for the highest $ amount for her client. It may be that your kids were not taken into consideration in the equation becuase the judge probably didn’t know they existed.

STOP LOOKING FOR A FREE ATTORNEY and hire one, simple representation on child support isn’t that expensive in the long run. Cancel cable, the newspaper, internet access, vidio rental and come up with the money for someone to represent you.

Cant cancel what we already dont have. The only thing would be the internet and we cant on that our kids school (even in grade school) has a laptop furnished on their desk, their homework is done on their school web page. When they made the change at their school 2 years ago with getting the laptops was only then that we had internet adding in to our household so they can do their homework. Internet is alot cheaper then driving the kids 10 miles in to the next town every night to do their homework at the library.

We do not leave beyond our means, we do not have luxuries like getting the paper and cell phones. I would glad do it if we had it to give up. We dont even have a decent car to sell which I would of done if I could but it is almost 20 years old and has 194 thousand miles on it. Plus the fact that we do need it to get the kids to school and H to work. It is very cold here most part of the year (tonight we are looking at 40 below with the chill factor).

We do not go around asking for hand outs, the only reason that we are getting state help with medical is because all my kids were born very premature. And i had 4 of them within 2 years (yes I said ealier 3 kids one of my sons died from health complications 2 years ago when he was 7). One of my babies was still in the hospital and yet had to come home from his birth when I found out I was pregnant again, and no I am not catholic and yes I was using birth control, the pill and the foam and still got pregnant and then I had my tubes tied and still got pregnant with my last one. It was in god’s plan that I have these beatiful children. But I was already in debt of a million dollars. So we finally broke down and asked for help with medical to give our boys the proper treatment.

I cannot work, I had to quit my job, couple of years ago and yes we talked about H getting a second job, but when we talked to our caseworker who handles our medical she said that would put us over and my sons will be lose their coverage. One of my sons has very serious health probs and his regular day to day meds alone are $900 a month, not including any that he gets put on off and on and the ones that he has to use occasionally as needed. We have thought about letting it drop for a month or two and letting H grab as much work as he can knowing that medical will go back 3 months and pick up bills but after talking to sons doctor we decided not cause one treatment alone the doctor and to really fight the state to get them to cover cause of the price per treatment.

Trust me we have thought of everything to find a way and are still trying to think of ways.

Bottom line is though, if you don’t get a few hundred to pay the attorney, you’ll be stuck paying thousands to the mother of the child.

Only you can make that choice.

Yes that is the bottom line… but to us 1,500 for retainer fee feels unreachable but we are trying cause I do feel like you say it would be worth it in the end.

But that is also why I am on here to educate myself about the laws, cause then maybe we can represents ourselves until we can get the money up to hire one. And educatating myself will be good to when it comes time if we can hire a lawyer so I know that I have a good lawyer and that is looking out for us.

Dear Shadow:

Greetings. If the 50% includes arrearages, then it may be reasonable (not that he can afford it, but it may be reasonable in the court’s eyes). I am sorry, but I don’t personally know any lawyers that do pro bono child support work. Here at our firm we do pro bono federal kidnapping cases under the Hague Convention, which takes up all of our pro bono allotted hours.

Good luck on deviating. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Janet on our court paper it was stated that they could take 50% and that was the amount that they asked for.

And on what you said about what should of been filed, I will have to try and find out what that is. We had no attorney when we went to court, fell thru all the loops. Legal aide did not have enough funds or staff so could not help us. The state bar, we could not get the pro bono cause my H did have a job, we could not get the reduce because he was not or had not been married to the mother. And we have NO money to hire one. When it came to court, they asked my H if he was who he was, he answered yes. They showed him the dna test and asked if he took that test… he said yes… they asked if this was copies of his income from his job… yes…

Her attorney then asked for the amount and for the back payment to the child birthday. The judge said yes and got up and left. That is all the chance we had to say in court.

So besides that they are taking 50% of our income, they are now sending us letters for the back payment and threating to hold that out of his check (which is what they are doing for the amount owed monthly) which is not fair since we did not know she was pregnant or that even a child was born until Nov. and it was Dec before they ruled out other possiable fathers and that my H was the father. So already we are thousand in debt.

To top off that we also got a letter saying that we also had to cover the child in insurnace within 10 days. And how can we do that since our kids are not even covered. It also did mention if we disagree with the medical that we had the right to contest that in court which I did write a letter saying we do and have a court date coming but have no idea how to handle it when we come to it.

I am trying to find us a lawyer that will do it for pro bono or at least let us making small payments, but only 5 family lawyers in our area and so far not going good.  I have appointments with the last 2 to see if they will :frowning:

The way I understand it so for CS guidelines are set up like this…In situations like these, it says there is some “standard of living”. This presumably comes from the fact that 2 people were married, rasing child (children) at a certain standard and now the child shouldn’t be punished for parents divorced and should be supported to same “standard”

But it is not set up for a case like ours that I can see where the man is married, had a one night stand. It is a long story but if you knew it all you would see why I was willing to try and forgive him (he did tell me right away about it) and I know he is very sorry I see the guilt writen all over his face. The OW did know he was married. I would not throw a fit if I met a man with baggage, because it would be a part of him, so dont understand why she should expect that much from him. I know the child is innocent in this and that they are supposely doing what is the best for the child BUT my children have been forgotten in this mess.

OK, now here we are in this situation and there is no way to address it. My CoM are NOT in system, hence, they don’t exist AND OC is supported to a standard of an only child. In other words, we have 3 children, they dont live as well as OC with her single mother. So, therefore, my children live at a lower standard of living than OC. It makes no sense and any XOW who say they only want “what’s right” isn’t looking at the whole picture either…but then, I guess they never did