Just wanting to talk

Well she finally had sep. agreement looked at by an attorney I dont know where the inteligent woman i married has gone but, she had a bankrupcy attorney look them over(WHAT).That doesnt make any sense.She has completey lost her mind!!Yesterday she emails me to ask about christmas I dont know why she couldnt call me but whatever,come to find out shes only gonna spend 1 day with them on christmas.My kids are upset about that…

And on top of everything else she has BREECHED the sep. agreement,she hasnt made that suv payment its over 30 days past due,she has let ins. cancel on it,it seems all she cares about is what she wants right now…

Thomas

Thanks for any help
broken hearted

Look I may have not all the right answers I’m only a 25 year old girl but I understand you, don’t beg her anymore if she loves you she’ll come back. I’m pretty sure she thinks of you, but she’s probably ashamed of what she did. You gave this woman the best years of your life. Now forget her, she’ll look for you one day. First you got to be strong, focus on your kidos. Don’t let them drown with the problems going on. Help them not to do the same mistake she did. You did nothing wrong, you are a cool dad. If she wants money let that new man support her. He probably has no money at all, don’t support them. Let them work hard. You spend that money on the kids, on yourself. I’m 100% you will get custody of the kidos especially, and your little girl needs to get distracted with other kids to forget these things. Smile and look at the world with your head up high, and if you ever see her in the streets, act like you didn’t play hard to get, don’t be weak. She’ll come back, and maybe if she does it will be late. You’ll find a good woman that will care for your kidos and you. Smile Always

isabel martinez

Isabel is right dont beg, it dosen’t work just let the situation take care of itself, stay cool calm and collect the minute you beg it’s like a bird of pray swoops down and strikes if and when she comes back then get into counseling to work out the issues but, protect yorself and your ability to provide the best for the family and whan I say protect I mean really protect… My situation was I let her know once it’s all done she could come back at any minute hour or day but it has to be a true start over where we both work togather to fix the problems she wanted it to be the same as what lead to the divorce geuss what then C- ya cuz twice bitten same lady is not good by any means …

Disbelief in the system

hey we have not heard from you, I’m assuming things are going better for you and you have forgotten about all of your friends. We all hope that you are having a blast. If you are still done join in and talk to us so we can help. Because this is what we all are here friends. We are all logged in because we need to get pain off our chest, and by doing this it helps. Hope you doing better. howdy from Mercedes Texas

isabel martinez

I am new to this board. My wife is leaving me after 14 years of marriage and two beautiful kids (a boy and a girl). She is leaving me for an old friend of hers. I never saw it coming…

I too called my wife at lunch to tell her how much I loved her…We took a cruise every year and are well off financially. We went to church together with the kids at least once a month. I have provided for her all her life and gave her everything she asked for (I took pride in spoiling her a bit). Our love life was great and made love 3 times a week, even after all this time (I wont go into details for fear of minors reading this board). I bought flowers on every special ocasion and my last aniversary gift was a 1 karat diamon ring. What hurst me the most if that we talked to each other about everything in our lives…we were one…

Your story sounds so much like mine. A few weeks ago, I heard the phone ringing in the master room and slowly walked to the door. I hear my wife laughing and talking seductively, romantically with someone on the phone. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I was coming out of my mouth. I stood there at the edge of the door listening for what it seemed an eternity (about 15 min.) and they were the worst 15 minutes of my life (I served in desert storm, this was worse).

After some research, I found out that they were calling each other for months (she called him 9 time on our aniversary day)…the day I gave her the diamond ring and took her to a special dinner (just to think that she spent the day talking with her sweetheart…it breaks my hear). When I confronted her, she denied it was serious. The only problem is that she has been taking this trips to her home (3 last year and 2 this year) to “check on her mom.” I can now see that the reason was.

I am not saying that we didn’t have our regular marriage problems because we did. But we knew how to argue and always respected each other. We never went to bed angry with each other. Her family adores me and are very angry with her for her betrayal. I feel awful inside…she has destroyed everything we worked for and specially the children…we had such a bright future!

She is taking prozac and other thyroid medications and I am thinking this could be a reason for her flipping out like this. She tells me she is tired of me and my ways and wants out. We have begun the separation process and have drafted a separations agreement that we both agree on. This is a “friendly” separation.

TJONES, I know exacly how you feel! I am going through it myself right now as I type these words…I adore this woman and I am deeply in love with her. The worst part is that I will not be a part of the childrens everyday laughter, fights, etc. like before. By her actions, she has made sure of this. I don’t even know if she went to bed with this man and I am scared I got something like AIDS (I don’t know this woman anymore).

Hi all just writing in to let everyone know that i have let go me and th kids are moving forward the ex still does some stupid stuff but i try not to let it bother me. I have my sep. agreement and its rock solid my daughters grades are comming back up finally (she went from national honor roll society to a F omg but shes back on track now and she finished drivers ed.)My son lol hes a silly boy but he is still a little indifferent to his mom but we talk everyday ( i got us sprint cell phones family plan free sprint to sprint)5-8 times a day my work is cool about me being on cell phones they (at work) were worried about me I had some bad thoughts go thru my head( i was in a dark place),but i kept it together the best i could.Me i just have been keeping busy like janet fritts said why do i want her back she cheated on me and i have been doing a lot of traveling,and i am currently dating a wonderfull woman (she knows my situation and that the ex is a b****) we have been dating almost 4 months now we get along great,our kids get along great but we are taking it slow.Oh yea about the traveling me and my gf and sometimes we take the kids have been to historic charleston,asheville,linville,we just came back from myrtle beach last weekend my gf took her daughter and mine to beach one weekend for a girls weekend i stayed home and worked(lol).but they had a great time and im glad they did.(the ex bitched about all the treveling we are doing but hey did it with her to she left not me).

So thats were i am in life right now just trying to be the best dad and man i can be(keeping the house clean laundery done supper cooked oh yea homework to lol my daughter packs my lunch for me tho so i dont pack any junk food lol shes keeping me on my high fiber healthy diet)

Thomas

Thanks for any help
broken hearted

Yea got back from roanoke rapids fly fishing for stripers this weekend boy did i catch some fish had a great time to it was nice to just get everything off my mind. if anyone would like to see the pics the web address is.

flickr.com/photos/99247499@N00/

Thomas

Thanks for any help
broken hearted

Hey tjones
Great for you and your children move and get that loser out of your life I did I had 17yrs + with that loser and to tell you the truth I am so happy Give you one better the loer wrote me a an email saying that if I give her 50K I can have the children stay with me and primary care also to drop all law suits even the piece the losers lover who I am suing what a loser she is.
I know the it hurts having a person who has been with you for that many years but move on and let her go she did its sounds like NOT you will see she will come back and you better think this one out do you really want back? if so can you for give her? would you trust her?
So many questions and so many more I will tell you this if you do let her back kiss the hosue and the kids goodbye because you will not be in that house for much longer think I am kidding ask around and you will see. I hope you changed the locks on the house if not do it now this will help you out.
Sorry for all that has happen to you and the children but in time it will be so much better
Bye for now

Thomas,
I am glad to hear you are doing so well. When I was married to my ex, I used to go to the beach for 10-14 days at a time, no problem. This trip, I came back after 3 days, I missed my fiance so much. Love and mutual respect make a huge difference in a relationship.

Hey tjones
Forgot to ask you I would love to go fishing with you if you like? But if we go would you have the children? I know if I went I would have my children. Hey maybe we can catch alot and have a great feast LOL (go to MCD’S) and pick them up dinner LOL
I would like to go if you want please let me know maybe we can in time hope things are working for you and geting better too
Bye for now

It is understandable to feel so much pain when betrayed by the one you love and have cared for in many ways for so long. At first, I thought that you and your wife might be dealing with a midlife crisis like I am but, when you said you are only 35, then I realized that your wife is still very young. My wife is 52 and is ADHD and has filed for divorce and custody. She thought I was going to divorce her and said she decided to beat me to the punch. I had no plans of divorcing her but she became very paranoid. She is getting our home and children (2 son 11 and 14).

Although our marriage was not the greatest, I had always felt that we were a team and our life goals the same. I realize now that this divorce will be good for her and I but for the kids, it will be very bad. They are both ADHD also. She is the type of woman who puts herself ahead of the kids and the kids will suffer because of it.

I have lost everything I care about in life. The only thing that keeps me going is the time I get to spend with my sons. I live for them now. As young as you are, and as loving and caring a person that you are, you have a good future ahead as long as you put her behind you. Yes, this will be hard but, your kids need you to be strong and their love for you will give you much needed support. Just remember, the kids need help through this also. Don’t let your troubles make you blind to their needs during this. Your children will be there for you knowing that you are a victim of their mothers wrong doing. It is a sad lesson in life for all involved and for a woman to just up and desert her family like this just shows that she has no morals and deserves her new abusive partner. Do not make it easy for her to come back. If you do, she will just hurt you again later. For the sake of the children and their futures, protect your assets.

My prayers are with you

Phil

My fiancee could have written this post almost word for word. 15 years of marriage, two children although a bit younger, 6 & 9 at the time. She moves out in November '04. He was miserable for about 2 weeks, spent crying and begging her to come back. She had a boyfriend and didn’t even see her children for a month after she left. He and I met in December '04. She goes psychotic when she finds out he’s dating someone. Screams and cusses him everytime we do anything with the kids and even when we do stuff without them. Comes after me personally several times, and blames him for everything that goes wrong in her life. It’s been a year and 1/2 now and things are soooo much easier. The divorce is final and even though there’s still some issues with $ and time the children spend with each parent, 50/50 custody equal time, him and his ex are at least able to discuss the issues now and they even agree on most of the stuff with the kids. I still do not go around her, like when the kids have to be picked up or dropped off, we don’t even know where her house is. But slowly things are beginning to smooth out. Memorial weekend we went on our first real vacation together, and are going to be vacationing with the kids over the 4th.
It just amazes me that there are so many stories on this that are similar.
I went through the same thing with my ex about 4 years ago. We weren’t legally married, but we had been together for 11 years. It didn’t hurt any less. And I know now that it was a blessing that he got married 3 weeks after we split up. It was devistating, sure, but it’s like ripping off a bandage. It wasn’t drawn out with court and waiting periods. It hurt like hell, but it’s done and there’s no question of whether or not we’re going to work it out because he’s married now. I can start healing.
I know that I went through all that to be able to appreciate what I have now even more. I believe my fiancee had to go through what he did for the same reason. We were on the same side of different relationships. We were both told that it would get easier with time, it did. We were both told that we would find happiness again, we did. And we were both told that we would find love again, and we have.

my wife left me and the kids today for another man she just walked out after 15 years of marriage i dont know what to do been crying alot lately and my daughter my son goes to school out of town so we havnt told him she wanted to just call him but i said no we going to go see him so thats this weekend maybe, she told me she has to think about it.
i tried everything i could to get her to stay but this is not the woman i married to turn her back on her family and kids what has this other man put in her head??
she hasnt even called her daughter today or last night this is not the woman i married…

what happened>>??
as she was walking out the door,
i told her that i still love her and that if it didnt work out or she wanted to come home ill be here for her with open arms i told her my love was unconditional and will always be here for her. i still love her when she told me about the other man i never raised my voice(am i a fool) shouldnt i have been mad i just sat there telling her how much i loved her and i wanted her to stay…

i just wish i knew what is going on in her head or what he has told her…

like i said this is not the woman i married

Thanks for any help
broken hearted