Let's change the law ... any takers?


#1

I believe that Alienation of Affection is a bad law in that it awards people who don’t put alot of effort into their marriage and expect it to work out. Then when someone else comes along and shows more love and affection to the other spouse who has been neglected for however long, then the other spouse wants to sue for alienation of affection. Anything worth having is worth working for and a marriage like anything else must be constant nurtured. You can not neglect your spouse and treat them like trash and expect to keep them. They will eventually look elsewhere. They are human too and deserve happiness. If you neglect your marriage you should play for it by losing your spouse. Obviously, they didn’t matter that much to you to begin with. I will love to help anyone you wants to overturn this ridiculously stupid law.

Ashwini K. Pathak


#2

Is “loveofmylife” serious? What the heck is wrong with getting a divorce before you start a new relationship? Obviously adultery is caused because someone has unmet needs that may be legitimate or twisted. But do you think anyone in a “love” triangle comes out a winner? The cheated spouse is humiliated and sexually violated. The third party is a victim as well because they never get the full scoop about the true details of the marriage and are put in jeopardy of physical and emotional harm when the spouse and society find out about the affair. Do you know what the divorce rate is between couples who started their relationship as an adulterous affair? 95%!!! Not much of a happy ending for the other-man/other-woman. Why? Because the whole relationship was founded on lies and deception. It’s an unbalanced relationship to start with where the adulterer holds all the power and the third party is at the mercy of the adulterer AND their spouse. They’ve been victimized twice! And the spouse that cheats may suffer the greatest damage of all…often losing the respect of family, friends & children; living with the guilt of what they have done (it’s easier to forgive someone else than it is to forgive yourself); the lies that eat away at them daily because they have compounded anything that was originally wrong with the marriage. There are no winners and that’s why the laws should be changed to prevent this self-destructive behavior.


#3

No one wins in any audultress affair. There will never be a law that will truely do any good. We are all harmed by someones choice. It is so easy to get a divorce and marraige is taken so lightly by so many.Everyone suffers from a bad choice kids, family, and the worst is the adulterer. I understand that in a bad marraige there are needs that are not met and spouses may look elsewhere. To me that is a very bad choice. There are so amny options. It is simply the easy way at the time. Which later will turn into the worst choice. There always is something emotionally wrong with any person that goes outside their marraige. Blame always goes toward the other spouse. people who have true values would never make that choice, unfortunatly society has changed our value system and tells us what our beliefs should be. That is unfortunate.

RD

Rick


#4

</font id=“Arial Black”>At least “loveofmylife” is being honest, which is more than can be said for those who commit adultery. I disagree with her line of thinking for several reasons. That feeling of being loved was once felt for the spouse before the marriage. Three years down the road, that feeling would be lost with the new lover. Your old car may be running great, but there’s nothing to be the smell of a new one, especially if you don’t have to make payments.

Where did the principles of honesty and dignity go? If you don’t like your situation, move out, but you don’t have any right to grab a lifeboat before abandoning ship. Don’t depend on the support, and devotion of your mate while looking for someone else to give your heart. That was my situation. I spent 25 years with the love of my life, while she was just biding time for her love to come along. What price can one put on 25 years of being deceived?

I’m for keeping the Alienation of Affection law, and changing the divorce law so it will be fair to the spouse that abides by their marriage vows. Why do we have vows if they mean nothing?


#5

I am also for the alienation of affection law. I was married for 34 years, together 36. I married for better or worse, but after his MANY affairs I could no longer turn the other cheek. Believe me I gave this spouse everything and anything any time. His lies, were affecting my health, and I was afraid of catching something. I suspect as they say your first 7 years of life determine who you become. I recently looked at his family tree, all his siblings, and except for his mother,cheated. (father inc) Even his brother and sisters kids are that way now. Our society is too disposible.


#6

Great Law, You will see my story soon on TV…


#7
quote:
Originally posted by gebjr
Great Law, You will see my story soon on TV..

#8

[
Hello, I agree with the law also, what tv program will you be on, I’m very interested in yor story
[

]


#9

Actually,my story just got really worse(can’t discuss). He started showing up at my kids baseball games… Hello, we’re still married…My kids are thinking " What the heck, Do you believe this guy !" The looks from parents are funny… They want to ask so bad… I just chuckle inside waiting for the crap to fall…


#10

[:X] Now imagine if the world was like that.[:I]

“” | “” | “” |


#11

I have no idea of what is going on? [:o)]

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#12

I am not sure if I agree with the present law or not. I do know that the marriage vows are between 2 people and those are the people who made the commintment.

I suppose each situation is different. If a wife stays home for 35+ years keeping the home and children and her husband goes out and sleeps with the secretary then I would feel she is entitled to something.

But say you are married to an alcoholic who comes home at 3 in the morning wasted every night. You decide to find somebody elsewhere. Should your husband, who never comes home anyway, have a right to sue the new guy you met when you file for a divorce?

I guess it all depends on the situation and the actual state of the marriage.

MP


#13

I have read time and time again about the trail of destruction left in the wake of adultery. Unfortunately, I am also dealing with the consequences of being cheated on. Many in the NC Legislature would like to do away with the alienation of affection and criminal conversation statutes which would leave us, the injured parties, totally helpless. (My own divorce attorney has referred me to another lawyer for my criminal conversation suit because he himself thinks its a bad law). However, this same legislature wants to ban marriages between people of the same sex in what they call a DEFENSE OF TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE act. So does that mean that the legislature and our society have come to accept that traditional marriage includes adultery and no-fault divorces? That’s ludicrous to me when having unprotected sex outside of marriage makes the innocent spouse vulnerable to the fatal AIDS disease. As far as I’m concerned the stakes are higher now than ever before. (In my case my spouse has admitted that he knew his mistress was having sex with multiple partners). I have alot of pent of energy and yes, anger, and it seems to me that it would best be spent trying to send a loud message to the legislature that TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE is most threatened by adultery which takes place in a startling number of marriages. Marriage is a contract and a breach of that contract should be no less severe than breaching a business contract. Anyone interested in starting a lobbying group with me to work towards more definitive laws that, at the very least, won’t award adulterers?