How can anyone marry someone mainly for their money? My first wife was a on/off childhood sweetheart who I was madly in love with. I left for college, starting dating others, when all of sudden she was madly in love with me. She tricked me into marrying her, which I didn't mind because I still loved her. Then many years and two children later, I discover that she was, and probably had been unfaithful for some time. During our parting, she tells me that she never loved me, but married me on the advice of her mother. Her mother told her that I was a nice guy, most likely would be very successful, and she probably would never have to work. This turned out to be true. As you can imagine, I was totally crushed. Having the two children was all that prevented me from going totally nuts. I was able to recover enough to start dating again in less than six months, even though at first I was scared to death.
Several years later, after dating several very nice, and maybe a couple of not-so-nice women, I found a fantastic woman with whom I shared several common interest. I was successful in business, and she had a well paying job, so money didn’t seem to be any problem. After a few months, she suggested we get married, and I could retire with us living on her income. I did asked her to marry me, but of course wouldn’t hear of living off of her income, so drew up a Prenuptial Agreement saying we would share the everyday expenses, I would cover all the expenses of the home (mine and paid for), and if we parted each would keep their own possessions. Warning Sign - She had no objection to retaining our possessions, but did have some objection to sharing expenses. Another warning sign was that she lingered for several minutes while reading the financial statement which was part of the Prenuptial Agreement.
Getting her to pay even part of her share was like pulling eye teeth, but as long as she contributed something I tried to keep the peace. She worked all the time, which left me with half of the housework and all of the cooking, which I didn’t mind because I was helping her get ahead.
A few months ago she purchased a home behind my back, which she later told me was an investment. I discovered later that she was furnishing her new home a piece at the time from our home. When I tried to put a stop to her underhanded dealings, she moved out. I don’t have a clue as to why she pulled this stunt. She tried to make up, if I would move into her home. I have a home which is paid for. Now, dispite having said hundreds of times that she didn’t marry me for my money, she hired a lawyer in an attempt to get it. I’ve probably spend $3,000 so far defending myself, and spend much of my time digging up old financial data her lawyer demands. Worse than that, even after months I have no interest in meeting someone new. It’s like being snakebite twice, so I fear going outdoors anymore.
It seems evident to me, that twice I committed my heart and soul to women who only wanted money. To me that’s almost like being a prostitute. I’ve never wanted anything that wasn’t mine. Can someone help me understand where I went wrong? I love being married, and don’t cherish the thought of living my last years alone, but the thought of this happening a third time scares me to death.