Women and and a Man's Money


#1

This type of thinking is part of the reason so many marriages fail! Selfishness—that women deserve NOTHING! Well, you will be HAPPY–better for tomorrow—that I got the minimum—less than minimum–and I am female—so, just come to Wayne County where your wishes will be fulfilled by the judges. Oh, you are allowed to have an affair as well and STILL get everything—more than half in my case! ARE YOU HAPPY??? Get off the board. Go somewhere else.


#2

I have been married for 14 years and my wife and 2 sons are all ADHD. My wife has rejected me for sex for the past 5 years. She has worked for most of our 14 years but, never, ever deposited any of her earnings into our joint checking account. We recently purchased a new home and 1 week after that, she quit her job, opened her own checking account, PO Box and contacted a lawyer for divorce. She did not have the guts to just ask me for a divorce. she became very mean and with the help of her sister, they set me up for 2 Domestic Violence charges in 1 week. After 14 years living with 3 ADHDs, I all of a sudden have an anger management problem! Yea right! I was kicked out of the new home that I paid for, lost custody of my 2 sons and it looks like I will be paying child support and alimony for a long time. She is claiming total dependence on me and wants as much of my paycheck as she can get. Her sister has moved in also. It also appears as if there may be another man in the picture but, I haven’t gotten the goods on her yet. She has turned my son’s against me but, in time, they will know the truth. It is such a sad situation for the boys. I am going to fight for custody and if I do not get my son’s back and my home back, then I will spend the rest of my life making sure she pays for what she has done to me and my sons. If, I quit my job, she will become homeless and I doubt her new man will want to take on all our marital debt!

Only time will tell for me whether the courts are fair or not. So far, they have just drawn this all out. It has been 6 months and $5K and I have yet to see a courtroom. Things have got to get better…

Phil


#3

Phils, your son will either know the truth or end up just like her.


#4

It sounds like you are not one to be passing judgements Xmedwife. This is a free country where last I knew a man was able to speak his mind. Your’re attitude is what contributes to the very problem I am talking about - wanting half and contributing nothing. If you would have read my post you would have seen that it was addressed to the “guys.” I’m more than 100% sure there are women on this list (if not 100 other lists) where you will find advice on how to get as much from a man as possible. For the guys, I highly recommend a book called “What Were You Thinking??: $600-Per-Hour Legal Advice on Relationships, Marriage & Divorce,” by Mark A Barondess. Very good suggestions of what to think about way before a divorce and after you have decided to begin one. Simply put, if you never want to get divorced, never get married. I wish I would have read it along time ago…


#5

Vendico, having my sons end up just like her is my worst fear. I could handle the financial loss but to have them become as greedy as she is would be a tragedy.

When my 14 year old told my wife’s sister that he wanted to be a doctor, she told him he could get richer faster by sueing people and companies. Now he has lost his ambition for being a doctor and feels he no longer needs an education. It’s really painful to have to sit back and watch the boys go down this road to nowhere. They will never reach their potential unless, I can get custody back.

Phil


#6

Dear better_for_tomorrow:

Greetings. Sorry, but all I can tell you is that the law does not always equal fairness. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#7

I know from experience that the money situation can cut both ways. Just after buying a new house, my ex-wife had all of the utilities put in her name only, emptied our joint bank accounts, and took out a bogus restraining order on me. I was able to overcome her efforts, but it was not easy.

My new wife has an ex-husband who was able to keep the house and all of his money. He had been having affairs openly, and he dared her to leave. She had never worked, but she did leave him. He and his attorney used delay tactics in court until she could no longer afford to pay for an attorney. She had to give up and let him keep everything.

It seems that the ones who get “everything” after a breakup are those who are really aggressive and ruthless.


#8

Dear ure:

That can be true…but not always. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#9

Well reading all of this has mad me think. My stbx has done some bad things. She tried to take my little girl away by making clames of sexual abuse against me with my 4 year old daughter. This was sick. No charges will be filled thanks to the investagation by DSS and The Forsyth County Sheriffs dept. I had everything from back groung checks to a polygraph. The only thing not done was a telescope put up my butt. IT HAS BACK FIRED ON HER and now she has to get a psychological assessment which was ordered by the Judge. If it was only about stuff and she would leave my little girl out of it she could have it all. That is my perspective. It is not worth it. Butmy little Girl is.


#10

Now as I read all of this it seems to me that all cases are different, Now as men we all know that some of us haven’t been the best husband in the world but neither as the women and some people get what they deserve(some men aren’t **** and some women aren’t ****) but the problem comes when one has had enough and instead of getting out and moving on with your life, people want to try a make things difficult for no reason, and use kids to do it and no matter what anyone says outside of attempted murder of a child the courts will always give mothers a chance. Believe it or not most of us Fathers are good Fathers that will give our childern anything they need but because the courts allow broken hearted mothers to discredit Fathers to their children and everyone-else we are labled bad Fathers. Most men that have children try to do everything they can financially for their child but the Mother want them to take care of them also and thats where it becomes a problem. So the system needs to take a strong look at why men can’t succesfully be in their childs life and if the system can change that then you will see better kids in your community.


#11

This is what I’ve been saying all along. What kind of person is it that does some of these things to the person that they once loved enough to marry. I know that divorces are never easy, but they can be civilized. Isn’t it bad enough that you feel you have failed? Isn’t it enough it enough that you feel utterly devistated, had the wind knocked out of you, and the rug pulled from under your feet all at once? It doesn’t matter that your husband/wife didn’t pay enough attention to you or whatever the reason that the divorce is happening, is it really necessary to make them suffer for the rest of their lives and pay through the nose, because you weren’t happy anymore? Now you also have to go to court and all the nasty secrets of your marriage are said out loud, in front of God, family and anyone else in the courtroom, and someone is recording every word that is said for public record. You barely understand it yourself, and there’s NO good way to explain it to the children.

I’ll tell you this, Better_for_Tomorrow, it WILL all come back to them. Even if you’re not around to see it. I was never a real big believer in karma until few years ago. I’ve seen it happen, and I even felt bad for him when it did, but I realized it for what it was and went on with my life. I firmly believe you reep what you sow, and everything is kept in balance in the long run. You do what you believe is right and leave the rest to a higher judge. Protect yourself, do what is best if there are children involved, and move on as quickly as you can.


#12

Stepmother, why can’t all women be as kind, considerate, and compassionate as you are??? Please continue to spread your wisdom.


#13

[:I]There are a few of us out here.
I learned all this the hard way. It takes too much energy to hate someone and be angry all the time, my husband’s ex is like that. Always angry and causing chaos. To me , there are more important things than who gets the living room rug or the 401K, though it’s not so easy to see that when you’re in the middle of it. There are always two sides to the relationship and you have to give yourself some credit and take 1/2 the blame and get over it.
Sometimes I could kick myself for things that happened with my ex, things I let happen in our relationship. Then I realize that if I started kicking myself, I would never stop. I’ve learned valuable lessons that there was no other way to learn and moved on. I still get bitter sometimes, remembering a certain situation or other, but then I realize that I’m much better off where and who I am now and I wouldn’t be here without all those experiences. Good luck to you!


#14

Guys,

All things beautiful must come to an end. But, don’t you find it amazing that the woman you married, found so passionately wonderful, beatiful, sexy, could turn into someone so ravenous for the money you worked so hard to create. More importantly, the woman you have had been passionately in love with who may have done everything for you in the first years of your marriage may not have done anything for you (no cooking, cleaning, sex, etc) in the last few but the marriage laws we have in place today say that she is still entitled to half your assets? Morover, may even have to pay alimony who is capable of working for doing nothing more than being roommates in the last few years?

Does anyone have any success stories on how you overcome this inequity?