Do men get justice


#1

Very Interesting question – I am the “new” wife of 7 years, but still the same and I am afraid I have been asking this same question. We settled out of court, but that was after spending in excess of 50K.

The political answer is yes they abide by the law and use their best judgement with the information provided to make a decision. My honest belief is NO men do not get a fair shake and unfortunatley too many Xs know this and use it to their advantage.


#2

I will tell you that my ex got away with little child support because he was in school and couldn’t work…yeah right…and he has been paying that amount for 5 years now (150 a month) even though he has a job where he makes 45,000.


#3

I think a lot of times it depends on the wife. I was so anxious to get rid of him, I settled very easily. I imagine the madder she is the closer to the jugular she is going to try to get. My fiance’s ex had it real good. When I first met him he was paying her $2100 a month. With my continued encouragement, he has managed to get it reduced several times. He was so anxious to get rid of her he was willing to pay anything to do it. Fight for what is right.


#4

I don’t think it really matters whether you are black or white Fatherdoright. I think from reading this forum for the last year that there are several very decent men(including you) on here trying to do the right thing by their children and it does seem that they are getting ripped “new ones”. But, at the same time, there are women on here getting ripped “new ones” too. My divorce was final back in Oct and every day I’m finding out that I didn’t fight hard enough for my future after 24 years of marriage. Hindsight is 20/20 and I know that he will get his in the end. I think I was just sooo tired of fighting that I gave in too easily. It’s too late now for me, but to all of you men and women that are getting the short end of the stick, take it from me and fight for all it’s worth to the bitter end.


#5

The answer to that is 99% of the time “not” in North Carolina. Perhaps, not anywhere in the so called “south”. I can understand and fully agree how women who have children and have dedicated thier lives to the raising of thier kids be rewarded and awarded the necesarry amount.
However, when it comes to those greedy lazy women who want a man to provide for them becuase they are too lazy or lack the pride to do it for themselves. They shouldn’t get a penny! It’s funny, if I had been the type of man who had no ambition or desire to do the best that I can. I would have “justice!”.


#6

It dont matter what race, men do NOT have no rights. You would not believe the horror story of what my husband is going thru, even the judge said it was not right BUT he rubber stamped him with what she wanted. I have wrote our congressman and was contacted by them that I have to start with my local state legislature if I want to make some changes. So I did write them and was surprised that I got a call back couple of days ago and one of them is interesting in meeting with us. I know it will be a long battle to change some of the statues, heck the state legislature dont even meet for another year I have been told, but we are willing to start making some changes in our state and instead of all these guidelines and stautes they need to look at them case to case


#7

soccermom I do think it fair if they are in school, but I also believe that once they finish and start a job they need to make the adjustment to what is fair. In our state you can ask for a modification but even if you do not the case is brought back in every 3 years for any modifications… lower it or higher it. Dosnt your state come back in for a review every 3 years?


#8

Aren


#9

No !!! Find an attorney that will represent a male client your already on the defense LOL and I mean REPRESENT not play hommage to lip service . I am a single dad of 3 do you think the “obligations to the Children” mattered nope it’s not whom we married it’s is the system and the attorneys. For every law that is good and represents your situation I garuntee there is one that offsets that law. then they say " What you married the b%#@@&" … MALES FILE COMPLAINTS DEMAND EQUAL RIGHTS the girls did it and look now we may have Hillery as pres…

Disbelief in the system


#10

What??? I don’t understand, basically what you are saying is that all females are worthless, lazy POS’s.

Yes you made the choice to marry that person, maybe you should have looked a little closer at his/her values before marrying and making children.

Yes - look for a good attorney, but realize that the system was built to work for the whole, and the whole includes the worthless folks that abuse the system.

I happen to be female and I don’t think I got a fair shake either, does this mean that the system is against females??? No this means that I made more money as my ex did and he was out to abuse the system. I paid the price and now I plan on making better decisions in the future. Love is blind, but shouldn’t be stupid.


#11

Yes I beleive that some men do get justice, take for instance my case where as my ex lacks only 9 hours of a 4 year bachelors degree from a university and when we went to do child support he pulls out a check stub stating that he made only $8.00 per hour for 10 hours per week. Therefore, they based the kids child support on what he makes and not what he has the potiental of making. So I am stuck with less than $200.00 per month to raise our two children on( 8years old and 3 years old).

brayburn


#12

I would have to say no men do not get a true ruling take my STBX she has a 2 bedroom appt a 13 year old girl and a 11 yar old boy and they sleep in the same room no need to go away on that. She wanted full cus now 50/50 for now will change in April I hope in my favor but I doubt it just because she is a women and she is Asian and hate to say the judge is looking out for her insterest not the childrens.
I know it is going to take alot from me to show the judge that it is in the best for the children to go with me but in time they children do not even want to go with her I took the children to see the judge and he did not want to see them why I do not know.
Now if I lived in the 2 bedroom appt I would never see them just everyother week end and pay out the nose in CS.
Is this far no the court is suppose to be blind not here in this case and so many others.
One day the courts will see that women are not as they where in the 50’s and 60’s this is now 2006 lets get with the times and so should the courts system dads need to have there rights too.
Thank you


#13

First of all I am not the second wife, if I took the man on knowing he had history then no I would not be complaining because I knew (as long as it was fair)

And about the marriage part of your comment know one can see the future, people change all the time. The person you married will never be the same person you married in 10 years. And that is not always the case. What about the fathers who did everything to dot on his wife, but she had the affair, she decided to leave with the children even tho the husband promised to do anything and forgive her. Was it his fault that she had the affair? Not always, sometime no matter what the other spouse is going to do it if they want, even if they was that unhappy in their marriage they should of left the marriage and ended it before they started another realtionship. But the father still gets racked over the coals when it was not his choice.

There alot of bad apples out there and they are the ones that have it hard on the good ones. Yes there is some horror stories on BOTH sides, but I know our case is just not whining and complaining and it is unfair cause even 2 judges told it was. And it must be something for one of the state legislature to call me to set up a appointment. He even said that 99% of his complaints were about CS but guess there was some unjust to mine for him to call me.


#14

He was actually going to be out of school that year…I knew I could take him back to court but I (really if you all want to know[:D]) would rather he not get more time. if I took him back that is exactley what would happen. Financially…boy am I struggling! If you have read my other posts you would see that this man feels that children under age 5 should be able to shoot pistols and lets her hold dead animals…I will take the loss of money any day to protect my daughter


#15

We married them yes, we did we change they change, the only problem is the perception of the law does not change to reflect what is going on… Favortisim is on the side of the woman, maybe the law is fair but perception generally male is the provider female is provided for.
Truth is to be held and justice is to be served with the law but one must get the truth to the court, that is where the problem is does anyone ever wonder why most all divorce cases are settled ? Lets see
Contributions to the marriage: how is that determined…
Obligations to children : (we have guidelines I thought) verification of income: who checks more than a week at a time.
Contributions to children: now thats a joke in my case (but, it is all my fault so they say )!!!
Adultrey: just the statement and your percieved guilty.
Dependant spouse: She works 40 I work 80 naturally I make more
(try working 80 too and then you can say you contributed equally to the marriage !)
Abuse: again just the statment.
Maritial Debt: how many men take all maritial debt?
( maybe I did get the property did anyone ever put the true values assigned to the property)

Just one example
Our vehical was valued at 10,000.00 wait the appraisal said 23,0000.00 but, we owed 29,000.00) Hmmmmm Oh by the way attorney
I’ m not going to sign this until it is correct and the values are assigned corectly GEUSS WHAT THEN YOU THE CLIENT IS NOT COOROPRATING with your attorney and I the attorney can just consent to this for you ! we will fix it later ! LOL

Lets face it just the accusations of any of the indignities in a complaint the court makes one ruleing and it’s down hill from there for the rest of your life …

SoccerMom : I understand your concern for your childs saftey but, let me ask did your husband shoot guns and handle dead animals prior to the divorce? If so maybe its a part of him he wants to share with his child (just a thought)

ARTHURP : The court is not willing to do the hard right and speak to the children heck our attorneys are to present the facts to the courts… What a joke and it is also a shame of how much damage is done to the children when we both change … But what reallly matters is who lies the most cuz the facts are irrelivant. Just my thoughts anyways

Disbelief in the system


#16

shadow…he did not shoot guns prior to the diovorce. he owned them and I hated them. I had just finished telling him that she was having psychological problems and he took her to pull the trigger of a gun. I don’t care what his preferences are even the NRA states that it is stupid for a child that young to shoot a gun…and the animals she holds are things that he just shoots off the back porch of our old house (which I willing left to him to get out of there). Plus, he doesn’t feel she needs any hearing protection. I am sorry shadow I just don’t feel like some things should be shared.


#17

After reading some of these postings. I am beginning to think that marriage should come with a contract, just like when we start a new job. If any of the parties should fail (through fault of their own) to live up to thier end of the bargain). The divorce should be terminated without any legal ramifications. Everything gained during the marriage should be divided 50/50. Ofcourse this should only be applied to people who have not sustained any kind of debilitating injuries or sickness, couples who did not have any children, or in cases where the woman decided not to work.

I personally don’t have a huge problem with a woman deciding to stay home during a marriage. However, when she comes after me “like it’s my fault” that is what I disagree with. I am pro-choice but do not punish me for being a provider without questioning her motives for staying at home.

As for guns, children should not be anywhere near loaded guns, ever! Makes you wonder about some of the laws in our wonderful country. What’s up with that one ?

I wonder if I can go after her, alleging that she could possibly have taken years off my life ? (just kidding). I am sure, that, if she could, she would!


#18

soccermom, please go back and read the post and who put that post on there cause it WAS NOT ME! [:D] disblief posted that.

My opionion is on that if a person knew their spouse was into it then it that is part of them that you have to take on, some people out that have been raised that way and to them that is the way of life.

BUT!!!!!....  my feelings on the matter is NO I dont not like guns.... I will not have one in my house... I willl NOT allow my children to handle one.  I got lucky my husband feels the same way about guns,  I know it is not in your case cause you said your husband was like that before,  but the ones that are, should of talked about it before they had children,  if it natural to the father and uncomfortable to the mother, they should of found a half way point to make them both comfortable,  like if the father was really into it and they knew then maybe they could of had it set if any gun shooting could of been at the gun range where it is more controled.   And only after gun safety class has been passed.  I was raised in a hunting family and that is how they have it set up. 

But i agree if it is bothering her then the father should take his feelings into consideration and put a stop to it. Just because he like them does not mean his child will. Just like I dont like guns even tho I come from a hunting family.


#19

sorry just reread my post and made a typo error and it did not come out right

It is suppose to say… I know it is not in your case cause you said your husband was NOT like that before, but the ones that are, should of talked about it before they had children,


#20

Sharing a part of oneself is one thing…letting a pre-k child shoot a gun without hearing protection is ridiculous even according to the NRA…I am sorry Shadow I don’t agree with you here at all. I think you would be hardpressed to find many people who would agree with you at all as even Ms Fritts responded negatively to the idea. Not trying to be mean…but safety should be first! Thanks for your input though any is always welcome