I’m pretty sure that being in the military is not a strike against you. If you do end up in court (most divorces don’t) and get a judge that leads you to believe that, I would find the closest reporter (print or TV) that will listen to your story.
Also, in NC you have to be separated (physically–i.e. you have to live apart) for a year. But I don’t think you have to be a resident to start that separation period. I would talk to a lawyer about it (to make sure I’m right) and to draw up a separation agreement (which you don’t necessarily need, but since you have kids it is advisable).
Hope that helps.