Need Advice on PSS/ED/home/401 wanted by ex


So those who may respond can have the full details to give me their advice i must give you some background. Please excuse me if this is lengthy. I will keep it short as possible. :0)

I am originally from Jamiaca and have currently lived in the US for almost 7 years. I met my ex wife while working at a resort that she visited while vacationing in Jamaica in 2002. We married in 2004 after she sponsored me to the US by signing a affidavit of support and filling out the fiance visa required by immigration. The marriage was a marriage based on love (atleast on my part). We have NO children.

My ex wife is 11 years my senior. I was 23 when i met her and she was 34. Six months after arriving to states i started noticing things about her that troubled me. She treated me like a child, forced me to work under the table a few months BEFORE i was legally suppose to, kept all money i earned and used them to pay bills she accumulated before i met her to fix her destroyed credit, and the list goes on. She was working for the government at that time making approx 38k yr and i made maybe 20k yr.

After her credit was restored, she told me she was quiting her job and moving to NC with or without me. No discussion, just an order. We moved to North Carolina in 2006 and bought a home in 2007 jointly. It is almost embarassing to say, but i was verbally and emotionally abused by her on a daily basis, so much that at the age of 27 i had a full head of grey hair. A short time after moving to NC she found another job working for the government and worked there about a year. She had stressed to me that she did not and could not work for people and wanted to start her own businss. She quit her job and told me to find a addtional labor job to take care of all the bills. She came up with a idea to get benefits from her former employeer and military by claiming a disability. So now after numerous DR. appointments she is diagnosed with Bipolor disorder and receives tax free money on a monthly basis for the rest of her life.

I was forced out the home during one of her so called manic episodes in 2008. I aquired my own apartment with no furniture. I left her with everything we had aquired together and slept on the floor in a empty apt before i could afford to buy furniture. We rented out the home and she aquired her own apt. We had been separted almost 2 years before I got a major promotion at my job and started making 70k yr. I filed for divorce in early 2010 and it was granted. She has counter sued me after finding out how much money i make now. This is where i need help.

Im being sued for the whole shaabang…Alimony/PSS/ED/Lawyer fees…etc. She wants me to sign the house over to her while i still remain on the loan AND pay for her medical insurance for 6 years plus 20,000 out of my 401k. She is a vetern and already recives free healthcare and at the time of separation, i only had 5k in my 401k. She is refusing to go to mediation unless i pay her mediation fees. She is claiming she has all this need from me to help her survive financially while she pays employees 200-300 dollars a week to desgin a website/small business. She is also a full time college student and recives GI BIll money to pay for her education.

The bottom line is if GOD forbid i were to lose my job, being a immigrant with no education i would be homeless and hungry. How would i suppoprt her? I have worked hard since i have been here and worked for what i have with no help from her. I was not good enough for her when i made 10.00 a hour but now that im making 30.00 plus she wants it all.

In your opionions, what could i be required to give/pay her?

From what you have said about your facts, it appears as though you actually made less money than your ex during your marriage. The spouse seeking alimony must have actual dependence on the other in order to maintain standard of living in the manner to which that spouse had become accustomed during the last several years prior to separation. A dependent spouse means one actually without the means of providing for her accustomed standard of living, determined by the standard of the family unit during the years in which the marital contract was intact. She actually made more money than you during the marriage. So, I don’t see how she has a winning argument for alimony or PSS. You actually were the more the dependent spouse during the course of the marriage. It does not matter that you make substantially more now, after your separation and divorce.