Need advice....wife left 10/21/05

I guess the first question will be are you and her able to sit and actually talk with reason? if not then it will turn ugly and the courts, attorneys and a lot of money spent will be in your near future. and if that happends then you nor her will be allowed to have overnight visits of the opposite sex untill divorced. The time is now to document everything and keep that cell phone bill. and get the balance of all martial debt that you have get a copy and save it. Just leaving your spouse is not as simple as it sound. Try to work it out amongs yourselves, it will save you heartache,frustration,money and time. Remember this, the lnger the marriage the longer the divorce will take

We can’t talk reasonably—she hasn’t spoken to me for months except about when she was thinking about leaving, and when she foend herself a place and told me she was moving out. Hell, she’s never even told me Good-Bye. Since she left we’ve spoken twice on the phone, once about some bills and once about some clothes she left in the hamper. Other than that we communicate through the kids, there’s othing resonable abut her anymore. I originally told her that I didn’t want things to get ugly but I’m afraid she’s going to cause it to. I’m not really worried about overnight visits with the opposite sex – I just want to look out for my boys, and take care of them. They need a parent who is using their head to think and not other parts of their body. She goes to church everytime they open the doors but I don’t know how she does it and comes home to live the life she’s living in fornt of our boys. As fas as marital debt their wasn’t much and we’ve talked about that. She took everything she wanted out of the house, but there are a few closets and drawers I still need to go through and get her stuff to her. She said she would let me keep the house (and mortgage) if she was able to keep her retirement. I agreed to that because if I didn’t then the house would have to be sold and neither of us would be able to buy the other obe out. Anymore advice??? HELP!!!

First of all, you need to STOP communicating through the kids. That places a terrible, unfair burden on them.

Second of all, even though you may feel that it’s her responsibility to draw up a separation agreement, it would be in YOUR best interest to do it yourself. You can put the terms in it how YOU would like them to be, and then it’s up to her to agree or disagree on them.

You can even put a clause in the agreement regarding no overnight visits from the opposite sex while the kids are in the house.

Either of you can initiate the drafting of a separation agreement, it is a written agreement to the all issues of separation, including child custody, child support, alimony and property.

If you are concerned about your children’s welfare while with their mother, you can file a lawsuit for child custody.

Lisa M. Angel
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
(919) 781-1741 direct voice
(919) 256-1660 direct fax
(919) 787-6668 main voice
(919) 787-6361 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I’ll try to keep this short. Wife left 10/21/05 next Feb 1st would’ve been 20 years. 3 kids 14 and 10 year old twins. One twin is with me the other 2 boys with her. She left me and I feel like it’s her responsibilty to have the sep agreement drawn up. Right or wrong? Also she has denied there was another man the whole time she was talking about leaving. I found looked at the cell-phone bill and the month before she even told me that she was thinking about leaving she had called this guy 96 times. When confronted she denied everything and said they were “just frinds” and he was someone she could talk to. She hasn’t spoke to me in almost 4 months. We communicate through the kids. Problem is…her “friend” was over at her house this past weekend (her weekend with the boys) from Friday until sometime Tuesday. I told the youngest boy that stays with her that I want him out of that house if that’s how she’s going to act like that. I’d like both of them out but the oldest is old enough to make up his own mind. What do I do??? I’m running ut of patience with her and don’t want this to get ugly but it may. I told him that if he decided that he wants to stay there, then I will get papers drawn up to have him removed from her house. PLEASE HELP ME----I don’t know what to do. Thanks