Need help to prevent divorce or prepare for one!


“I do not want a divorce because I still love her and I don’t want my kids to have to go through this. She doesn’t seem to care.”</font id=“blue”>

I understand not wanting to put your children through a divorce but if she treats you like you say she does, how does she treat your children?

Also if she treats you badly what is left of her for you to love? Are you still in love with her or are you in love with the idea of being in love with her?

I do not mean to sound harsh but you need to look at the whole picture. Make a list of the things in the relationship that bother you and then ask yourself if those things can be changed. If they can then you should seek help in doing so. If you do not think that they can or will change then you need to be realistic in your decision making.



I went through a similar situation. He was always threatening divorce, I was trying to keep it together. I finally decided the next time he threatened, I’d agree. It was tough, but the source of a great deal of unhappiness and stress is out of my life. I am a lot happier now, and am in a strong, loving relationship. Incidently, he frequently tries to get me to “try to work it out between us,” as I have found out happens frequently. If you call her bluff, that will probably happen to you. Don’t fall for it. You’re better off without someone who doesn’t care. Good luck.


P.S. I don’t think you are entitled to anything she inherited.


No–I don’t agree with mathkittycat’s last statement. Usually we’re right in line with each other, but not this time. Why is it that if you were a woman, chances are everyone would say, Hell yes girl, get that money and take care of yourSELF? But as a man, you’re not entitled? Why why why??? If the shoe were on the other foot she would wrest half of it away from you in a heartbeat, and you should do the same thing. Don’t you DARE lay down and die on this, you hire an attorney and you do exactly what he or she says to do. You’ve already won, all you have to do is spike the snap and wait for the clock to run out.


My marriage seems typical as I have heard many stories at work of divorces and why they happened.

She seemed to love me and did a lot for me before marriage and then after she got what she wanted during the first part of our marraige she now seems to care little about me. Very little love or affection. I am a very compassionate person and love a good hug.

When I needed to get to the Dr. for an urgent situation in which I didn’t need to drive. I asked her for help and she just shouted at me “What do you expect me to do”. Needless to say I had to walk through the neighbothood to find a ride to the Surgical center 100 miles away for an urgent surgery. I have tons of other signs that she could care less about me or the kids or even her own mother. She has threatened to “pack my bags and put them on the front porch”. I now know that in NC she can not legally do this unless I threaten her or hit her. She is a very good lier especially about money. And would not have a problem lying to a cop or judge to get me out.

I am in a lot of debt do to her lies, surgery expenses and my own stupidity. I asked her to sit down with me and help me with my bills but she only got mad. We still have seperate checking accounts and pay certain bills each. I sought financial help from the bank where I have a second mortgage to make her car payments and they have found a long term solution to my problems.

I do not want a divorce because I still love her and I don’t want my kids to have to go through this. She doesn’t seem to care.

Now for the questions…

How can I prepare myself for divorce as well as avoid it?

She has plenty of money in many accounts from her Dads death as well as another house. I don’t want any of this, but if I could use the fact that she could loose most of this in a divorce then maybe the next time she gets mad and trys to kick me out I can use the info. gained from here to change her mind. If she knows that she could loose several hundred thousand in dollars maybe she would change her mind.

What kind of advice can y’all offer me. What kind of questions should I ask an attorney and what kind of info. should I be looking at finding out.

Any help would be appreciated.

Trying to get prepared