There could be a number of reasons your husband’s ex calls all of the time. Without knowing much about the situation, I can’t say which is definate. Either she is just being vindictive and causing as much trouble as she can, (highly doubtful), or she still cares a lot about her kids and her ex-husband, (more likely). The best thing for your new family would be to have your husband talk to his ex as you suggested. When they decided on joint custody, I’m sure it didn’t include a clause citing the other’s right to call constantly. Your husband should express his custody time as “his” time. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to be harassed constantly when she has the kids. In the end, as you said yourself, take the “high road” and be the “better person”. It doesn’t do anyone any good to bicker about it.
I don’t feel so alone now. I’m sorry you also have to deal with this. I posted in the Attorney response area and if you want to read it maybe we can support eachother.
I’m to the point of [:(!][V] no return
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Grrr that is the most annoying ex scenario!! I felt the exact same way when my husbands’ ex would call almost everyday and start an argument with him over nothing! We have custody of their daughter, she has recently told their 6 yr old, not to call me mommy (even though I’m the one who cooks, cleans, offers support, and helps with homework…everything that a “REAL” mom should be doing right?) If I’m not dealing with her trying to undermine our relationship, she’s trying to buy her child off by bringing her presents (even going so far as to buy a 6 yr old a dog and not even ask if it was ok with us!). I also did not see any reason that I should have to be a part of this woman’s life, but the situation was getting to a critical point. I finally called her up one day and calmly “went off” on her. I explained that whatever problems she and my husband have, are none of my business so I will not get between them if they have an argument, but when I’m sitting at home relaxing with my family, she doesn’t need to call for any reason other than to talk to her daughter. My husband stopped answering the phone and gave it directly to the child when she called, and if she asked to speak to him, he told her that he would talk to her when she came to visit. I also kind of tried to be something of a friend to her. It really is making my life and my stepdaughter’s life a whole lot easier. She actually thanked me the other day for everything I have done. I have absolutely no respect for her, because of everything she has put an innocent child through, but I’ll do whatever is best for my stepdaughter. Some people are just so jealous they don’t care about how it’s affecting their children. I think she’s just a jealous ex. Oh and ps about the wedding, her mother’s whole family called and asked if they were invited. I think they got the msg when she came over one day and asked when the wedding date is…I replied, “It was last weekend.” You should’ve seen that jaw drop! Keep me posted, I’m always encountering new problems with this ex!
I feel for both of you because my fiancee has been dealing with stuff like this from my ex for five years. My ex threw a brick through her own window and blamed it on my fiance. (who lived 13 hours away at the time) She even called her boss at his home emergency number at 1 a.m. to tell him one of his employees was dating a married man and he should fire her. Some of these women just don’t get it and they’re only happy when they’re making someone else miserable. My ex used to call me and try to start fights with me too. I told her unless it dealt with the the kids coming to see me or an emergency, I had nothing to say to her and would not talk to her. The first few times she tried it, I warned her and if she continued, I hung up on her. She’d have the kids call me back so I’d answer the phone, then she’d get on and start trying to pick a fight again. After about two weeks of being hung up on, she gave up (Plus, with her being such a control freak, I know it pissed her off to no end!). Just a suggestion, but I know that there’s more to it.
My husband’s ex has to be in control of every situation. She has run her mouth about everything that we do and has to try to find out as much about our lives as she can. She can’t stand to go a couple days without calling him. When we got engaged, she called to find out if she was invited to the wedding [}:)]ex’s are always invited right?? When we took the kids on vacation, she called every day to find out if I may have said something to the children that she could fuss about, like asking them to put their seatbelts on in the car. She has told the kids that they do not have to listen to me because I am not their mother. What happened to “respect your elders”??
She left him after 15 years of marriage and has tried to make our lives miserable since we started dating. He was the one who took the children to school and doctor’s appointments, made sure their homework was done and that they had manners. She left the children with him for 2 months and was out partying, until he met me. Then we were supposed to see the halo come out and that she has always done everything possible for her children. In truth, she is more concerned with how much her children love her than how much she loves her children. I have no respect for a woman who will hurt her children to get back at her ex, or because she is jealous of the relationship he has with someone new.
They share joint custody with two children with equal time, but even on the nights that we have the children, she calls to ask them questions. I know she’s just checking up on us and digging for information from the children things to scream and cuss him about. He says that he can’t tell her to quit calling on his nights, but I’ve told him he can. It does no one any good, and it upsets the entire house, and the children most of all. Why should I be the one concerned with how they see their mother. Shouldn’t that be what she worries about. Is this normal? She threatens me whenever these little discussions get going, I have yet to understand why. I have to this day never said one word to the woman and I don’t see the reason to. I don’t respond well to screaming and cursing, harrasment or violence. I know that all this will come back to her eventually, but until that day, I need a little support in taking the high road and being the better person. Any suggestions on this would be helpful.