my husband has been having an affair, I have his mistresses phone number, I want to call her, and let her know that she is not the only woman he is seeing and to let her know how I feel about her. Should I call this woman. By the way she knows that he is married.
Flip it upside down. If you were seeing someone you know you weren’t supposed to and their verrrrrrryyy angry wife called to say that that person was sleeping around with other women, would you believe that wife? Maybe, maybe not.
Call if you want, but don’t be surprised if she just thinks you’re saying that to break them apart and doesn’t believe you. Love is blind, deaf, and dumb.
I advise you not to call. What do you hope to gain from it? She is probably aware that he is married, but some women seem to like having affairs with married men. Calling her will serve no purpose whatsoever. It will only hurt you more and you cannot hurt her. She has no guilt for what she has done. Chances are, if you divorce over your husband’s philandering, he will not marry her or be with her. Think about it. Who would want to marry someone who would cheat with a married man? She really is not the problem. Your husband is. And none of this your fault. It was his choice. Remember that.
Sorry to be blunt, but unfortunately, the other woman doesn’t care what you think, or she wouldn’t be messing around with your husband. Your husband is the one you have an issue with. He’s the one breaking his promises to you.
I have been in your shoes. If you can, try not to focus on the other woman. Don’t make the mistake of thinking she’s better than you. She’s not or she wouldn’t be involved with a married man. Make your focus having the best life you can–for YOU. Living well is the best revenge. I wish you all the best.
Thanks for the feed back, I just needed feedback from someone who has been through something like this. It is so hard. I really want the BITCH to pay for what she has done. I truly know that in time God will punish them both. The input has really helped me alot. I know that I need to focus on myself and my children.
I have also been in those shoes and it is very difficult not to contact the other woman, but I agree with the other posters on here. The best solution is to deal with your husband’s betrayal emotionally and financially. She is not the problem; she is his solution to his problem.
Take comfort in the fact that they can not trust each other and that very few, if any, affairs end with a happy marriage. Have faith that everything comes back around and you truly do reap what you sow.
Take care of yourself and your children. Find out your rights, find out more information if you can in case you need to prove it for alimony. Sadly, you may need to protect yourself physically, especially if he is seeing more than one woman. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there!
thank you so much, I really hate to see so many (GOOD) women have to go through this type of HELL!!! I have really had some tough days in the past few month. It is nice to know that there is someone who really understand what I am going through.
I don’t know what your financial life is like but I have been exactly where you are now…they are absolutely right focus on you and your children. My ex had multiple affairs it’s not about you or them it’s about him. I strongly recommend if you can to hire a p.i. The next thing I am going to say is going to be the absolute hardest thing for you to do but you have to at least try…do not make decisions based on your emotions, be emotional, you have every right, but take a breath and think things through it will pay off in the long run for you. I wish you the very best in all of your future decisions. Know that you are not alone
I am in the same situation as you - and guess what - I called the other woman. Yep, I did! However, she had no idea who I was, called knowing her name and was able to strike up a conversation indicating that I (under and alias name) met her at the bar she was at with my husband. In an attempt to befriend her and I have done all I can to make sure I converse in a calm demeanor… no intentions of a BFF, but just want to understand who she is and if she knows the guy she is sleeping with is married, and have been recording our casual conversations. You should see me when I get off the phone an start pulling my hair and count to 100. I understand there are laws in NC related to Alienation of Affection & Criminal Conversation and that contacting the paramour would not have an affect on a future claim, however such contact could be perceived as a threat. In my situation, the paramour is in North Carolina and I have enough proof the affair existed prior to me filing for separation, however, I am gathering more, while I get my crap together to file for separation. This approach my not work for everyone, I am on a mission to look out for myself, since my spouse is clearly looking out for other women besides me. I have installed a nanny camera to capture the action and will make sure to capture his facial expression the day he is served. look for it on youtube in the next 6 months.
What is that old saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer!
calmandconsiderate…you are hilarious! I need your tech skills so I can indulge in the expressions myself! haha
Make sure you post the you tube sight…Keep it up girl!
i’m so sorry for what is happening with u girls…those mans desirve to go to prison…
I think you’d better don’t call
She have know her man what have married,but they are still together,she never care about this.
speak out with your husband and let him know that you are aware of what he is doing. you have all the right to this because your the legal wife. the other woman seems no care regardless if your husband is married or not. i hope everything went well… God bless
DON’T GIVE THEM NO AMO, BECAUSE THE WILL BE CAREFUL. YOUR GOALS SHOULD BE TO OBTAIN ANY INFORMATION TO PROVE THIS ADULTRESS RELATIONSLHIP FOR THE WELFARE OF YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. WHICH WILL BE TO YOUR BENIFIT IN GETTING ALIMONY. IT IS WHAT IT IS! THE MORE YOU KNOW THE MORE IMAGES WILL CLOUD YOUR THOUGHTS DAILY AND THAT KEEPS YOU FROM DOING WHAT IS NECCESSARY. WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW TO SEE THAT THIS PERSON (HUSBAND) DON’T HONOR YOU AND YOU NEED TO BY CUTTING YOUR LOSE CLOSE THAT DOOR SO THAT YOU CAN GET WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE. REMEMBER, IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU THAT HE CHEATED!
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY ON WHATS IMPORTANT, YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN.
Now wait a minute. Stats show that affairs are just as big a problem with women. Instead of worrying about WOMEN who go through this you should focus on ANYONE who goes through this.