A judge may take into consideration the letter from a physchiatrist but the mother would need to file for modification of custody to take away visitations in a court order. She would then have to convince the judge/court that it’s in the child’s best interest NOT to visit with the other parent and from what you posted, there’s not enough for a judge to do that. Since she has been held in contempt before it may be that the judge would not even hear the case. Make sure to keep documentation of everything. Record the phone calls between her and your fiancee. Have him let the ex know that he will start monitoring this situation with the calls and if the child begins to get upset he will disconnect and she will not be allowed to speak to the child again until the next scheduled phone call. Put it in writing. He doesn’t have to listen in on the actual call to know if the child is getting upset.
The doctor should meet with both parents individually or together to discuss these issues. I suggest that you wait to see if there is an actual letter sent or if she’s just trying to cause you to worry needlessly. If you get a letter, contact the doctor to set up an appointment to discuss these issues. Document everything.
I do not know how old this child is but it could help to sit the child down when he/she gets upset about this and explain that you miss and love them also. The mother obviously knows that the child is going to be upset and is doing her best to make these visits worse on the child. It’s not uncommon for this to happen.
Thank you, Stepmom, as well as others who have read my posts and truly sympathize with our situation. I applaud anyone who is definitely stepping up to the plate to honor the commitments of being a FATHER or a MOTHER without the pettiness of using the child as a pawn.
Our little one is now five. We truly feel that our little one’s thoughts and sessions with the psychiatrists are influenced by Baby Mama and are not true reflections of her real feelings. When she is upset by her mother’s petty immaturities, yes, we definitely console her. This calming down phase takes about an hour (stop her crying, bring her temperature down, calm her breathing - - she has asthma and is obese thanks to the mother’s disregard to her health - another story in itself - size 16 for a 5 year old is truly unhealthy which has not helped the asthma situation).
Since this psychiatrist has been in the picture, several issues have surfaced CONVENIENTLY so around visitation time - like how at Thanksgiving she was fondled by her older sister while she was being given a bath, but was not communicated to us until a few days before Christmas visitation. - - Completely false might I add!!
Visitation at Christmas was declined by my husband due to our work schedules and year end close, but when trying to talk to Baby Mama about this issue further, she hangs up - - and we haven’t heard a peep about it ever again.
And now Spring Break visitation and Summer Break visitation are quickly approaching and ISSUES again. Very convenient especially after we were told last year of how there was to be a lot of worldly travel during this summer that visitation would interfere with.
My attorney called and informed us that we are to continue to follow the court order and continue to document as we have been doing. He and I feel that we will more than likely end up in court in the near future. We will cross that bridge AGAIN when we get to it.
Thanks again to all the REAL parents and especially STEP-PARENTS who are past the childishness.
I wouldn’t wait until a letter appears to talk to the psychiatrist. Talk to him/her now. As the father, your fiance has every right to be informed of his daughter’s medical, emotional, and mental health. If the doctor is only getting one side of the story it can skew his/her opinions. They are supposed to be impartial, but ipartial may not be possible without all the facts.
No, the letter would not change the court order, unless the court order provided specifically for this.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
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Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
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Does a letter or recommendation from a psychiatrist trump the court order?
Background
From day one, Baby Mama has been trying her very best to get out of visitation. She has been held in contempt before. Our summer visitation is only 8 weeks (interrupted by her visitation of 5 days in mid June and 5 days in Mid July). She calls to say that the psychiatrist recommends that our little one spends no more than 7-10 days with us during the summer and that she will write a letter to us with this recommendation.
We are still not clear on why our little one is seeing a psychiatrist. We were told that it is to help her deal with the visitation. Our little one is fine during the summer until her mother calls her (2 times a week as ordered) to remind her of all the people who miss her and can’t wait to see her like her Papa or little cousins. And of course, our little one gets upset and takes a good amount of time to calm down and is ready to leave since these are people she sees very regularly.
We think that Baby Mama has an issue with the visitation and can’t rightly deal without our little one since she spends her time calling our little ones summer camp each day to curse out the staff after they tell her she can’t talk to her child. (What school can you call every day and have your child pulled out to speak to them - unless it’s an emergency?) And if she gets only 2 phone calls a day, why is she calling the summer camp every day?