Save or End Marriage?


#1

Dear cyberspaced:

Greetings. First, you are welcome to some objective opinions, but what other parts do you want opinions from? Ok, enough of my bad jokes…on to your question:

What you do depends on what your objectives are. Who earns more money, you or her?

I will address your other concerns shortly. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

We have almost exactly the same gross income. I am trying to determine my course of action now. My objective is to try to have primary custody of our children if things continue &/or or get worse. I am planning to give marriage counceling a fair shot, but my trust for her as of now is shot, and that will be a massive obstacle to overcome should we decide to stay together. I want to have all the ducks I can find put in a row if the marriage dissolves, so I can pursue this custody issue. I grew up here & I have a great job here, and I just don’t believe I should have to uproot my, or my kids lives because of the choices she is making in her own life. (But I know life ain’t fair)

Thanks for your PROMPT!! response, I didn’t expect that, but I greatly appreciate it!


#3

Dear cyberspaced:

Greetings. Infidelity on its own does not have much affect on child custody - but if the infidelity directly affects the children or shows a negative character flaw that will impact the children’s growth and development, then you may have some grounds to ask the court to grant you more custody - but probably not sole custody.

Now, if I were you I would document everything in writing. Tell her how her behavior is affecting you and the children. Describe the money she is spending on the affair or planned affair and what that would normally be used for. Don’t take it laying down (so to speak).

Finally, marriage counseling only works if both parties want the marriage to work and are honest. If she is not honest, then you need to speak with the counselor about what the next step is for you personally in dealing with the harm of her behavior while you set up an appointment with an attorney. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

Thanks for your input, it really helps. What are the legal rules regarding accessing & recording her email account, and home phone monitoring?

Thanks Again


#5

Dear cyberspaced:

My heart goes out to you. The same thing happened to my brother after his wife attended a class reunion. It really messed with his mind.

I’m no lawyer, or even legal expert, but I’m certain that tapping the phone is illegal. Actually I believe the law states recording a private conversation. As for the email, personally I don’t know of any reason you can’t print these out and keep in a safe place. As Janet said, document everything noting time and dates.

If the subject comes up about what she is doing, remind her this bozo isn’t the same guy she remembers from high school. The fact that he engages in such behavior is evidence that he is a low life in the first place. Good men don’t encourage mother’s to bring shame and hurt upon her children. Take a self inventory of yourself, and work towards correcting any problems that may exist. Be good, stay strong, but never abusive. Women hate weakness in a man.

Best of luck to you. Hopefully you’ll can work past this hurdle and put it in the past. Until then, cover your rear-end, and stay cool.

Twiceloser


#6

Go to liebuster.com …You can buy a program that records all e-mails and IM’s and they don’t know…Worked for me .


#7

Dear cyberspaced:

Greetings. I recommend that you speak with a criminal attorney to ensure that your behavior is within the allowed perimeters for what can and should happen when recording telephone calls and/or electronic communications. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#8

My wife of 6 years signed onto Classmates.com “on a whim” and started an internet “relationship” with an old boyfriend 5 months ago. I have confronted her about this, and although she swears she’s stopped, I know for a fact she hasn’t. It’s getting pretty illicit, and he’s called the house when I’m not there, and saying all the right things. This is the first instance of this behavior during our marriage, and they are planning an out-of-state rendezvous SOON!!!

What are the legal rules on accessing & recording her email account, and home phone monitoring? Also, she is originally from out-of-state, and has threatened if our marriage dissolves to pick up our kids (11 months!!! & 4 year old) and move. She is a school teacher, and I know the courts usually give custody to the parent that can spend more time with our kids (teacher’s summer vacation, 2-3 months). Would adultery diminish her custodial validity? We are going to counceling next week, and I’m not sure about how to confront her that I’ve been reading her emails.

Thanks ahead of time. I know I’m fishing for legal advice & some objective opinions on your part(s), please understand I just love my kids, they are so young - and if I lose the chance to be there during every minute of their childhood because of this BS, it will kill me