Saving a marrige that is headed for Divorce


This may go in the legal section, but is it possible to ask the judge to order us to go to Retrouvaille (something I have looking into?) before issuing a derere of divorce.?


With out knowing why your marriage fell apart it is hard to answer your question but I can relate to how you feel. I am thinking of seperating from my husband and still I have feelings of wanting it to work out and stay married. Even though I know it would be the best and healthiest choice to end the marriage I still want to cling to the hope of it working. A few questions to ask yourself would be:

  1. Is this marriage really the kind of marriage I want it to be or am I trying to make it into the marriage I want it to be?

  2. If your wife has made it clear that she doesn’t want the marriage to work why do you want it to work?

You need to focus on yourself at this point of life and be a little selfish. Realize that you are worth something and that you deserve great things in life. Focus on making yourself happy. When you have become a happy & emotionally healthy person then you can focus on finding somebody that you can build a life.


My wife and I have seperated. We went to mediation and have come to agreements on most issue. We are still waiting for the draft of the seperation agreement.

For the most the mediation process went well and we were able to settle our issues ammicably. I anticipate having a signed seperation agreement sometime within the next few weeks.

As we get closer to the prospect of an absolute divorce and I am praying for a way to prevent it.

I still have very deep feelings for my wife. There is no issue of infidelity that we have to deal with. I truely in my heart believe that we can save this marriage.

She has told me she has no desire to reconcile and return to our disfunctional marriage (I understand). She says we have done all that we can to reconcile (I do not believe that this is true as I can think of about a dozen of things we may be able to try to save our marriage.)

I became so distraught during the intial seperation, I sought counseling. The counselor said I had a problem saying no. Now that I can look back on my marriage, I believe that was a problem that lead to its downfall. I am working to overcome it.

During the seperation we have gone out to dinner a few times. We had a good time together. I wanted to see if we were totaly disfunctional or whether there is any small hope. Based upon those “dates”, I think there maybe some small hope.

Is there any suggestion on a way to prevent this divorce from happening? We have tried some counseling, with limited results. Marriage encounter? Anything else that could work.

I pray to St. Jude (patron Saint of lost causes)daily.