Update: Separation as a Solution?


#1

Hello All:

I have been ‘bombarding’ this site for the last 2 weeks and it has helped me to cope with the current struggles in my marriage. I have even been ‘ranting’ at times(if you’ve read my last post).

The support I have received has come at a great time (or rather the timing has been great,…not the time). Honesty is something that is hard to swallow at times, but at least allows another perspective from the one each of us is dealing with.

For all of you who are struggling to save your marriage, I would suggest an e-book I’m guessing you may have all ready found. If not, go to divorceunion.com. The book is called: “Mastery Guide to Saving Your Marriage & Stopping Your Divorce” by Katie Zaltman.

Now I’m not going to tell you (as the book almost does) that this is guaranteed to save your marriage. What I CAN tell you, is some of steps it suggests for you to take a look at yourself have truly helped me to cope with the current circumstances. Some of the items/examples the book identifies seem remedial at best. However, instituting them in my own circumstances has allowed me to at least remain somewhat level-headed.

Again,…I’m just in the beginniing of all this. My spouse IS moving out, we ARE filing separation papers, and we WILL be selling our house. However, we are speaking more calmly about the issues, the acceptance of a direction has brought some clarity, and I am able to better deal with the day-to-day emotional roller coaster.

Things are NOT easy and I am not so naive as to believe it won’t get worse. I’m sure it will. However, the first thing I’ve needed to do is regain my self-worth. Friends and family can tell you how ‘great’ you are, and ‘how you derserve better’,…but they can’t make you feel that way. You are responsible for coming to terms with yourself,…I’m STILL trying.

So for now,…I’ve got ‘some’ hope left,…but I also am more able to accept the outcome that I have resisted, will be okay as well.

I wish the best to all embattled parties and hope you are all able to accept the resolution that occurs in each of your own circumstances. I will keep you posted,…especially if I find that “I’m full of --it”,…as many of you may all ready be thinking.

Thank you again for all of your support.