Shady Ex

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

Ok, I get it…“Get a Lawyer” I will when I have the cash next month…until then…help me sleep by answering some of these questions

My ex and I have had a written agreement for child support since Feb. 2008. She gets $500 bi-weekly in child support. This is not through the State. Done privetly amongst us. Both signed

My Ex lives in Ohio now. She took the kids from me December 2009.

I pay my Family to watch my kids 2 weeks in a row, then their mother has them 2 weeks in a row. I visit once or twice a month for 3 to 4 days at a time.

I had/have cancer and could not argue keeping the kids with me since I barely could take care of my self. Both our families live in Ohio in the town the kids live in. I had major surgery for the disease and now I am in recovery. I’ll be out of docs care around December (hopefully) which is when I plan to move back to Ohio and get a job.

We never had a divorce.

She Wants a divorce (fine with me) and she wants to get child support “finalized” through the state.

She has a boyfriend in a different state.

Questions:
If I do not recover and have to quit my job and move back North, will that agreement or state child support force me to pay her if I can’t work?
Which State should Child Support be set up in?
Should I get this set up before she goes and does it? (will it be a negative if she does it first)
If the state decides through calcs that I should pay less than what I am now, will I pay less?
Is paying my family money considered work related child care expenses? (I give them $1000 a month)
Since I have my days covered with family watching the kids, is this okay while I recover? (for being counted as 50/50)
Does the state even give a damn that I was sick when she took the kids or that I am recovering 700 miles from the kids?
Can she move the kids to a different state if she marries her BF? (Other than Ohio where they are now and where I’ll be moving back to?)
Can I legally do anything to her for taking the kids from me when I was on my death bed?

Now that I’m getting better and life doesn’t suck, I’m looking back and feeling like I have been screwed sideways by the ex.

2

Child support is based on your current income, if you are not working that will be taken into account in a support calculation.

Child support is set in the state where the obligor lives, so it will be here if you remain in NC.

There is no real advantage to filing for support as the obligor, especially since you are already paying pursuant to a valid agreement.

If your ex (or you) file for support, the amount calculated using the guidelines will be the amount paid, even if it is less than the amount you agree upon.

The money you are paying now is considered child support.

Even if you have assistance from your family while you recover, your children’s time with you is still considered your custodial time.

She cannot move to another state if you disagree with the move.

As for her taking the children in the first place, you can file an action to have them returned to NC and the court will hear the case here, at it is the proper forum at this point for a child custody case.