Should I sue for Custody?


My stay at home wife abandoned my daughter and I on Thanksgiving day for her boyfriend whom she was having an affair with. She moved in with him 2 weeks later, which was after she and I had signed a notarized temporary agreement regarding custody of my daughter (she stayed with her during the day because my wife did not have a job and I worked full-time, and then with me at night and we alternated weekends) and I didn’t found out about this until after we had signed a separation agreement. I did some research and found out the boyfriend had a criminal record (but nothing recent and nothing drug-related, child abuse, etc.), but I went to multiple attorney’s and they all told me that I didnt have enough to gain custody of my daughter because I worked full-time and she did not and my wife was her primary caretaker for her whole life (she’s 3 getting ready to turn 4) since she stayed at home with her while I worked to support them. I ended up signing a separation agreement with her for joint physical and legal custody and I kept the majority of my assets with no alimony and $500 child support (I make close to 6 figures and she again makes nothing). We agreed that we would have to agree on childcare for my daughter and a number of other things. Unfortunately, I was not smart enough to include a clause about the no boyfriends overnight or cohabitation and have been stuck with what was put into our agreement. Ever since I found out about them living together I’ve been trying to get something done, but have been just so afraid that I would end up losing what custody I do have of my little girl because of my schedule. He has taken over the communication and refuses to let my ex communicate with me unless it’s through his cell phone and email address, he shows up almost everytime we exchange my little girl and tries to get me to lose control, my daughter tells me that he hits her and that my ex leaves them alone together when she has to work (she got a minimum wage job after we signed the separation agreement), she begs me to not make her go to her mommy’s house everytime we exchange, he/she cusses me just about everytime they communicate with me, and recently, they’ve starting withholding my daughter from me on my days because they claim I am going against the agreement, which I am not doing. There is nothing in our agreement that says that they can do that either so they are technically the ones breaking it and my ex refuses to agree with me on childcare for my daughter. She has a babysitter that I have never met and/or she just lets the boyfriend watch my daughter on her days. This has been ongoing for almost 7 months now and I’ve just been compiling evidence to use against them. I am curious as to my chances of gaining majority custody of my little girl are. I have kept good documentation of everything, but have been afraid that if I sue for custody, nothing will change and/or I could lose what I’ve got because I work a full-time job and she does not. The main thing here is that I can’t lose my little girl… she and I are so close it’s not funny - she’s my world…


It certainly sounds like you have a lot of issues that are relevant to a determination of child custody, but I cannot answer what the likelihood of your success in court would be without a full analysis of your case. You should consider consulting with an attorney in your area to discuss what your expectations in court would be, and seek to modify the arrangement accordingly.