Will you please stop attacking Helen everytime you get a response you don’t like? She isn’t the person who did all this to you. She is doing her best and the Rosen firm has set up this forum and provided a rather valuable service for free. She doesn’t have to spend her free time at sometimes ungodly hours to respond to requests for information on this forum for little to no compensation.
Would you expect a brain surgeon to be able to operate without blood work or at least an x-ray? Then why do you expect an attorney to be able to tell you good advice if she doesn’t have the complete facts of your case? There are many nuances and loopholes in the laws. To navigate them well, she would have to know the whole story.
I’m sorry you feel victimized. But you know what? There are absolutely no guarantees in life. Your husband could’ve died destitute and you might’ve had to go back to work with no money whatsoever. You yourself could’ve been killed in a car wreck or from a fatal long-term illness. A flash flood or sinkhole could’ve taken your home. Life is change.
Being a stay-at-home mom was partially YOUR CHOICE. No one put a gun to your head and made you do it. And, for over 21 years?? You’ve got to be kidding me. While it’s an honorable choice, it is also a luxury. I couldn’t even afford to take time off to spend the first year with my child, much less 21 years. There are single moms who put their 6-year olds on the bus every morning, then take another bus to a minimum wage job themselves.
Yes, it sucks that all your hard work got rewarded in the manner it did, but wringing your hands and crying “foul,” then lashing out at those who are trying to do what they can for you isn’t going to solve anything and will completely alienate those who are trying to help. Self pity and recriminations will not bring you back your old lifestyle. It is wasted energy. You can only pick yourself up and do the best you can for yourself from now on.
And, no, there are plenty of men on this site who will be paying for the rest of their lives for a lifestyle they couldn’t support when they were married, but now are expected to because of state laws.
BTW, I kept my standard of living after my divorce. I worked and we had an amicable split. Yes, he made more money than I did, but I did not request alimony. Why? Because I wanted complete freedom in the end.