Surprised

My ex lives in a very small apt with one bedroom. No central air or heat. Our son who is 14 has been sleeping on an air mattress in his dad’s bedroom. My ex communicated to our son that he also was part of the reasons he left and that we ignored him as a husband and a father. Then whenever he was upset with our son he would ask him if he wants to have a relationship with him or not. On one occasion he even asked him he would like him to extract himself. All this resulted in our son’s refusal to see him. Talk to him or reply to his texts. What would the court decide in a child custody case.

Based on these facts, it is possible that a judge would give you primary custody with Dad having minimal visitation. It is also not likely that a judge would award Dad overnight visits at this time due to not having heat, air conditioning, or a separate bedroom and bed for the 14 year-old.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

The other issue is our son refuses to talk to him. Would a judge force a 14.5 year old to visit with his dad when he is refusing to even respond to his texts because of the verbal and emotional abuse.

While a child or teenager (any “child” under the age of 18) does not get to determine where he or she will live and with which parent (those decisions are for the parents or the judge if the parents cannot agree), a judge will take into consideration if a teenager is refusing to speak with his father and/or expresses a sincere wish to not live with that parent or see that parent.

It is possible that a judge, given this circumstance, could order reunification therapy so that a specialized therapist is charged with the duty of mending the broken bond between parent and child.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

And what will happen if he refuses to go to therapy sessions if the court orders.
I have one more question: after my ex moved out I discovered he was cheating on me with his now girlfriend. I have solid evidence of that. Also have pictures of her at his residence after the separation. Now he is claiming his income is 40k less than the past 2-3 years I feel he is lying again to avoid child support and maybe going for alimony. What kind of evidence do I need to prove his infidelity and income.

If the father refuses to go to therapy sessions as ordered by the judge, then the father would be in violation of the court order and could face contempt of court. The judge could also limit visitation with the father if the father is willfully refusing to follow the court’s orders.

To prove infidelity, you need to prove that your husband committed an act of illicit sexual behavior during the marriage (between the date of marriage and the date of separation). You would prove this by showing inclination to commit the act of illicit sexual behavior (i.e. phone call logs, pictures of them out in public together, emails, text messages/text records, etc.) and by showing opportunity to commit an act of illicit sexual behavior (i.e. pictures or eyewitness evidence (preferably a PI) of them going into a hotel together or to the paramour’s residence and them spending the night together, etc.).

To prove income, if you file a child support claim in court, through the discovery process, he will be required to produce his income documents. Typically this is the last 3-6 months of paycheck stubs and the last 2 years of tax returns, W-2s, 1099s, etc.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

I have call logs. 18 times a day. Calls lasting over 108 minutes. At all hours of the day and well into the wee hours of the morning.

It’s not the father that I believe won’t go. It’s our son that night not want to go. What will happen then

If the judge were to order reunification therapy, then it would be your obligation to ensure that your son is ready and available to attend the sessions (i.e. encourage him to go, don’t make other plans for him at the same time as a reunification therapy session, etc.). You can’t be held in contempt of a court order if your teenage son refuses to get in the car to go to the session.

However, reunification therapists are trained for this situation as many children/teenagers do not want to attend.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

How about proof of infidelity. All I have is call logs. He even lowered his pay which makes me believe he might be going for alimony

Also the extension Is up tomorrow if he does not counter claim alimony and we go to the divorce hearing can he do that at the divorce hearing

To prove infidelity, you have to prove that your husband committed an act of illicit sexual behavior. You will need evidence of inclination (phone records, texting records, emails, going out in public together, etc.) as well as opportunity (hotel receipts, PI evidence showing him and another woman going into a hotel together and spending the night, etc.). You will need more than his phone call logs.

If he does not counterclaim for alimony, then he is not asserting an alimony claim. This cannot be brought up at the absolute divorce hearing. At the absolute divorce hearing, absent a notice of hearing to the contrary, the only issue before the judge will be the absolute divorce.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

He did counter claim alimony and PSS. How in the world would I have receipts or even pictures of them when they were having an affair. The fact that they are together now does not count for anything. The fact that he called her all day. All night. Does not show that something was going on between two people. I have pictures of her car at his house after the separation. Does that count.

All of the evidence that you have certainly helps, but it may not be enough to prove that he committed an act of illicit sexual behavior during the marriage (between the date of marriage and the date of separation). Evidence after the date of separation can be used corroborate evidence or events that occurred during the marriage.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Would it be a good idea to request his and her cell phones for text messages. I heard that even if they deleted the messages we can still retrieve them.

Yes, a digital forensics expert could possible retrieve deleted text messages.

You can initiate a discovery request that asks for all text message records, copies of text messages, emails, phone records, etc.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

I had my child in therapy since September of last year. My child asked me not to say anything to the father till our child is ready to share. I recently shared it with the father and he wants specific dates of when it all started. Does this hurt me in court. Does it affect the out come of custody.

No, the fact that you told the father about the child’s therapy when the child asking you not to should not hurt your custody case. The father should know about his minor child’s therapy and medical appointments unless you have been awarded sole legal custody by a judge or the father’s parental rights have been terminated.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

But I told him almost a year after the child started. Only because the child said I’m ready for him to know. So now the dad wants to know the date the child started to see the therapist. Do I have to disclose. What would the court say. Remember the child is almost 15 years old

The father still has the right to know about medical or mental health treatment for any minor child unless you have been awarded sole legal custody or his parental rights have been terminated. A judge may not like that you did not inform him of mental health treatment for a year unless you have had good cause not to or a safety reason not to tell him. However, I don’t see this one thing being enough to affect a legal and physical custody determination.

You don’t have to tell the father when the child started to see the therapist if there is no court order that requires this. But it is generally a good idea to voluntarily disclose this information.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

The child did not want him to know. Because he is condescending and will use it against child. The reason for therapy is to have someone to talk to in confidence if child was struggling with the separation or pending divorce. No other issues with child.