T-Ball


#1

I’m glad that you are allowing your son to continue to enjoy this activity if it is something that he wants to do. Have you thought about just going to the games and enjoy being a spectator? Cheering for your son and the team and being relieved that you do not HAVE to do all this extra stuff?

Why would she automatically take over these duties unless you are giving them up? You are still the mother and are allowed to volunteer your time as you wish, unless it’s a “unspoken rule” that the coach’s partner is the one who these duties are assigned to…


#2

I have been reading over some of your previous posts and it looks like (and granted this is just from reading these posts) what has happened was that everything was going along fine, or else the way you wanted it to, until your ex got a girlfriend with a 10 yr old son. This GF wanted to create a family unit with your ex, your son and her son and this is making you a bit crazy. She is involved in your son’s life and takes him places, cares for him and takes him to church. In your view she is taking your place (T-ball) and now your ex wants more time w/ his son because he now has a support system that can help him. Instead of viewing this woman and this situation as the enemy and lashing out at her, put yourself in her place. She has her own child yet she is kind to yours and includes him in activities and is willing to support him in sports and in his religious upbringing. I think that this is a pretty good situation. Your continuing to resist and fight this situation will eventually harm you and your son. As long as your son is safe, happy and thriving my opinion is that you should try and focus on yourself and put a more positive spin on this for yourself and your son’s sake.
It is ok not to be involved in every little activity that your son participates in during time w/ his dad. Over the years we have worked it out so during some activities Mom attends and others Dad attends. The child knows that this is the case and doesn’t expect mom and dad at all or everything because they have to work.


#3

Hi Mal,

Acually he has had the girlfriend for five years. Since before the divorce. I worked through my issues with her, but thanks for you insight and the time you took to read my posts.

quote:
[i]Originally posted by mal[/i] [br]I have been reading over some of your previous posts and it looks like (and granted this is just from reading these posts) what has happened was that everything was going along fine, or else the way you wanted it to, until your ex got a girlfriend with a 10 yr old son. This GF wanted to create a family unit with your ex, your son and her son and this is making you a bit crazy. She is involved in your son's life and takes him places, cares for him and takes him to church. In your view she is taking your place (T-ball) and now your ex wants more time w/ his son because he now has a support system that can help him. Instead of viewing this woman and this situation as the enemy and lashing out at her, put yourself in her place. She has her own child yet she is kind to yours and includes him in activities and is willing to support him in sports and in his religious upbringing. I think that this is a pretty good situation. Your continuing to resist and fight this situation will eventually harm you and your son. As long as your son is safe, happy and thriving my opinion is that you should try and focus on yourself and put a more positive spin on this for yourself and your son's sake. It is ok not to be involved in every little activity that your son participates in during time w/ his dad. Over the years we have worked it out so during some activities Mom attends and others Dad attends. The child knows that this is the case and doesn't expect mom and dad at all or everything because they have to work.

#4

If your son enjoys this activity and you believe it is good for him, I don’t believe it is in your best interests to keep him out of it. If the two of you end up in court in the future the court may not reflect positively on this issue if they believe your personal feelings kept your son from participating. I would try to work through it with them as much as possible, and if you cannot. Simply watch your son in the gams.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
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#5

After battling with my ex and his girlfriend I recently told him that I wouldn’t commit to T-Ball this season because he is the coach and she takes over the duties that I would normally be entitled too, (such as mingling with other parents, providing snacks, keeping the score) unless it was during his visitation. After cooling off I realized that this would only harm my son and it isn’t fair to him. So I have agreed to commit to the time and effort. The only thing is how can I prevent her from being so involved in my son’s sporting activities. She is overbearing, overpowering and not only all of that has a son of her own and I just wish she would mind to her on child. Any advice would be appreciated. I don’t think this is a legal matter, but I sure would like to know an appropriate way to handle this other than pulling my son out altogether.