I am sorry you are having to go through this.
Don’t move out. He will have to if he really wants a divorce.
You have to let hurtful things roll off. I know that is tough, but they don’t mean anything. Actions are the only thing that means anything.

You will be hearing all sorts of weird things.

You have to face the very likely possibility that he is having an affair. I would be willing to bet he is. Sorry to tell you that. His words about no longer loving you and not being attracted to you are classic affair words.

Tell the attorney the facts. If he or she is half way decent they will give you good advice. Remember this, you are the boss not the attorney. They work for you. They give advice, you give instructions. You are their client.

As far as property… Do not rely upon him to tell you the value of any property. Derive your own facts and figures. Suspect all information coming from him.

If you don’t know where to start with questions in your consultation the attorney should be able to guide you.

Generally the net equity in your home is divided, meaning the value of the home after you subtract the debt.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Thank you Helen & Don for your input. Husband came home last night and because we are in the process of looking for someone to value the businee he owns with 2 other partners, I asked him if the date had been set yet and he said no. I am entitled to 50% of his third and the valuation has to be done so it can be part of the equation. Husband got an attitude when I told him that I didn’t know if he could afford to buy me out of our home and beach condo and that we would have to sell them, pay off both loan, and split the profits. He said because the market is so bad right now, he would rather buy me out and hold onto both properties. He said he would have both appraised and pay me half of the appraised value MINUS the balance owed on each. Does that sound right? I told him I didn’t that sounded right and went on to say that if I have my way I’m going to make sure I leave with nothing “so no other woman will ever have anything to do with him”. I thought that was a weird thing to say.

His parting words this morning were, “I am no longer in love with you nor am I attracted to you” and out the door he went. I have an appt. tomorrow for a consulation with an attorney…what do I ask him and how do I protect my rights and what DO I have coming to me? How am I going to pay this attorney unless it is included in the settlement…I am very confused.

This morning he got u