Throwing In the Towel


I honestly know how you feel about this, as many of us do. But I can tell you from experience, if you focus on your children, live your life to set an example for them, and take care of yourself…a year from now…sitting back and watching it come back around to her is the best kind of justice.

I’ve seen things come full circle for my ex and my husband’s ex and I can tell you that it’s not a terrible feeling. I’m not a vengeful person but I believe that you “pay” for your wrongs. Especially when you have hurt someone else for no other reason than because you can. So, while I don’t believe that it’s my place to keep score so to speak, nor do I enjoy another person’s misery, I have taught myself not to feel guilt or remorse when things do come back around and it’s time to pay.

My husband has said many times that if it weren’t for his children he would have packed up and moved off to save himself the humiliation. His ex left him for another man, had 4 boyfriends in as many months, and then when we started dating wanted to take the boys from him and blame me for their marriage not working out. To this day she still blames me for this. His boys are the ones that made the decision that they didn’t want to have to live with one parent or the other so he settled for joint custody.
The thing to remember with those close friends and family is that they know you and they know what kind of father you are. You know the truth of what happened in your marriage. Keep in mind that it does get easier and eventually, it will all come back around…
Take care and we’re here for you!


I wish you the best of luck, it sounds like you are in a very difficult situation.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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First of all, I like to say thanks for all you who have given solid advice on this divorce situation. I just pray that we all get through this somehow. I just wanted to say in a forum that I’ve given up based on many of consultation with lawyers about my options to pursue options about my STBX. I mean I have endured all the burden with the whole separation/divorce thing for 9 months now what I mean by everything is the fraud, adultry, physical and emotional stress, alienation from family and friends, you name it I’ve done it. I found this site very helpful about similar situations but, consulting with lawyers and consultation fees have led me to say the hell with it… I get at times very upset on how this system works. I by no means claims to be perfect but, I want revenge and this is something that I’m against wholeheartedly. I have kids by my STBX and she’s parading around her house (she moved out), with her new car (she left me facing repo, and foreclosure), and with new guys (3 in the last 9 months),. If it wasn’t for the kids and only a close tight group of family and friends I don’t know where I would be. I asked many of times is there anything I can do to get any actions against her so I can live my life… I can’t prove she a terrible Mom cause she’s not only with the guys staying there we still married just separated. My kids mentioned to me that they are scared of him (I loose it) hurt me don’t hurt my kids… The more I type I get upset so I’m going to close this out by saying thanks for all the support you guys have given me and anyone in a similar situation keep this going because its something that’ll definately help those with less knowledge cope and build a fight… Very Repectfully…

Corey B. Patterson