Unannounced appearances

I have joint custody of my 14 year old son. Since my divorce 5 years ago, I have been unable to stop my ex from simply coming to my house unannounced to either bring my son something or for my son to retrieve items from my home. This happens quite often and there have been times when my son walks in and literally scares me to death because I was unaware that he was coming! Don’t get me wrong! I love my child very much and my home is his home, but when you’re not expecting someone in your house, it can be frightening!

I have requested numerous times that I receive notification. Sometimes my son will give me notification, but sometimes he forgets and sometimes, my son is not even aware that his father is coming by! (Dad calls him on the cell phone outside of my house!) According to the Orders, neither one of us can get out of the car or be outside when the “drop offs” occur. On Friday, as I arrived home and just getting out of my car, here comes the ex, unannounced, and just a few feet away from me. I sent him an email requesting, once again, that I receive notification if he was coming by for any reason, but I doubt it will help. I have never, never done this to him. Advice? Thanks!

I would suggest changing the locks and ensuring that the ex does not have a key. You may also file a motion for contempt for exiting the vehicle at drop offs.

The ex has no key to my house, but my son does. You missed the point. The ex shows up unannounced either with my son or without. He doesn’t exit his vehicle, but is “just there” and I never know when he might show up! Totally out of the blue! Therefore, I feel like my life isn’t my own with these unexpected occurrences. I feel like my privacy is invaded, disrespected, whatever. I might have company, but that doesn’t stop him either! He just wheels in whenever he feels like it! It needs to stop and I’ve tried to stop it. I just don’t know what else to do! Thanks!

I am not sure there is anything to do about this, aside from calling the police (non-emergency line) and filing harassment reports each time he shows up.