Greetings. I think that you have two options:
Send her the schedule that you agree upon. Get her agreement to the schedule in writing (maybe by e-mail). Include in the schedule that if either party forfeits or misses a scheduled visitation that they will be responsible for reimbursing child care expenses within 15 days of being provided with documentation of the same. (Make sure to pay by check or credit card for the child care then).
File an action for custody and get the court to award a schedule.
If you can both agree on a schedule, you may want to have an attorney draft it up into a consent order for you and then you can have the court enforce the schedule. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.