Dear nextex:

Greetings. Wow…what a mess you used to live in, no? Okay, let’s get you some answers:

  1. Yes. If he does not uphold the order, then you can have him held in contempt. I would make sure that you draft an order, not an agreement, and that you place language that allows visitation to stop if you find out he is doing anything wrong.

  2. The husband can clearly do something. 13 is still a child and the court has full jurisdiction over her, regardless of what she may want.

I am glad that you have realized how strong you are! Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I knew in the final days the heat would be turned up and I was right. Husband served with divorce papers yesterday and he blew a gasket. Moved his mistress in last month and 30 days later he put a gun to her head, made her call her husband and HER husband promptly beat MY husband up. (Deserves a medal if you ask me!) As usual everyone expects me to come running and clean his mess up and get him back on the straight and narrow. NOT MY JOB ANYMORE thank God! My husband also called my child support case worker and told her he knew how to “fix me.” He is just digging his own grave. He’s a convicted felon (6 arrests in 12 years), who has access to his mistress’ guns (yes, she moved back in the next day) and it’s a mandatory 5 year sentence if he is found with a gun. I have told him he can not have the children back at his place until we go to court because I’m not going to have to worry about my children literally getting caught in the crossfire. Here are my questions:

  1. My children are 13 and 15; if I ask for pretty restricted visitation such as visits in public places or no overnight visits does my husband have as much responsibility to uphold the agreement as I do? I would not put it past him to try to arrange “secret” meetings with the kids. You know how teens are; they think they are bullet-proof … no pun intended … and that they can somehow manage a grown man’s behavior.

  2. Her husband thinks there is nothing he can do to keep his own 13-year old daughter from living with them because his daughter does not want to be separated from her mother but he also is worried about her living in such a violent situation.

By the way, Janet … this woman’s own mother was murdered with a bullet to the back of the head 20 years ago and the circumstances are so similar it should have that woman making a beeline away from my husband. In the past week I have come to forgive this woman for everything she has done to me and my family and actually pity her. I just hope it doesn’t take her 15 years to get away from my husband like it did me.