Want a Divorce


Thank you in advance for your time and answering these questions.

*We have been married for 10 years

*I have gone through all my savings and retirement supporting us-all my money is gone.

*He takes medication for severe back injuries but cannot get disability because he doesn’t have enough hours to qualify

*We have argued for years about his using marijuana(although moderate use, he still uses and I hate it)

*Wednesday he was arrested for a Class C violent Felony. I do not believe he did it but believe he got involved with the wrong people and it is related to marijuana in some way. He is not a violent man.

*My house was searched, they found marijuana but are not charging him with the possession. I do not know how much he had, I do not use drugs

*They also took my computers, cameras, and various other items that belong to me. I was not arrested. I sell on-line and use these items for my business.

*I am of course completely cooperating with authorities

*We cannot afford an attorney so he will have a public defender

  • I do not think he will be convicted because he is innocent. Initially I thought I was living with a stranger and perhaps the charges were true. However, after sleeping on it and realizing that he was accounted for at the time of the alleged crime, he could not have been in 2 places at once. I am trying to reach the people he was working for so they can verify the time he was at their house. I already spoke to a neighbor and she verifies that he was in fact there the morning of the alleged crime.

*The point is: he is doing something wrong, has friends I have never heard of and made someone mad enough to try to set him up. He told me on the phone they had threatened to do something if he didn’t do something but this conversation was from the jail and kept short. However, I do not deserve to live like this and refuse to accept him back if he is ever released from jail. I am done!

My divorce questions:

I am the one paying for our property and totally in credit card debt now from trying to keep us afloat. My family has made numerous loans as we try to sell and move.

He is on the deed and mortgage but has not made more than $6000/year for the past several years.

I want to file for divorce and keep my property rights in full.
If he will agree, I will give him a good pick up truck, his clothing, his tools and a couple hundred dollars to get him where he wants to go.

I do know we have to be separated for a year before we can get divorced. Can all the division of property be done prior to the divorce and both of us move out of state? Is it automatic after you file for those first papers that in one year, the divorce if final?

If he is convicted and sent to prision, will I be able to sell the property without him? Will I be able to get divorced if he is in prision and keep my property?

Is drug use a valid divorce reason, according to the law?

This all happened this week and I am sick. I have never experienced anything like this. I am a law abiding who tried to live a Christian lifestlye. I just cannot control another persons actions or life choices and am ready to call this one quits.

Thanks again for your advice.


You may divide all of your property prior to the date of divorce in a separation agreement, which is a contract between you and your spouse which must be signed and notarized by both of you in order to be valid. If you do not have a separation agreement in effect at the time you file for divorce you must include a claim for equitable distribution in your divorce complaint, otherwise you will lose your rights to have the court equitably divide your marital property after you are legally divorced.
The divorce is not automatically done after the complaint is filed, there are steps that must be taken, including sending notice to the other party, and scheduling a hearing for the actual divorce. There is a video on the website that explains this process.
Property that is not divided prior to divorce goes to the title owner upon divorce if there is no claim for equitable distribution pending at the time the divorce is granted.