What is his problem?


#1

Last night ex calls me because our son wanted to talk to me. (son just turned 3 yrs old) Our son is wanting to talk to his siblins, phone is passed around. My son ask what I’m doing? I tell him. He says he wants to go outside, I tell him to tell daddy. He keeps saying it. I then tell him, let me talk to daddy, so I can ask him to take you outside. He wouldn’t pass the phone. He kept saying, talk to daddy.

Well I ask him if he wants to talk to Mke (my husband and the one who has been there in his life for over a year, but on a regular basis 6 months everyday). He says yes. My son is talking to him. He wants to talk to me again. I get on the phone and my son is saying he wants to play outside here and on his swing set. I tell him to give daddy the phone and I’ll ask him to take him outside.

We were going round and round with this. Ex texts me and say, "What the ****? You have him call Mike daddy? I text back saying to him, No! he calls him Mike. Ex texts back and says, Don’t ****** lie to me, I’m sitting right next to him. I text back and say, I don’t know what you are talking about, I keep telling him to put daddy on the phone because he wants to go outside. This carried on and on.

Well he said that this is going to change fast. I said What? I don’t understand what is going on? He said don’t worry about it, I will have this taken care of.

I don’t understand what is going on. I haven’t done nothing wrong.

  1. Is it a bad thing ‘IF’ my son did call his step dad, dad?

  2. Would I even get in trouble for that?

  3. Is there a NC law that states that a step parent who is willing to be there for their step child, will get punished for it?

I don’t understand what happened last night. I think he was trying to show off infront of his girlfriend. He lives with her and my son is there with them. My husband didn’t live with us, until about 2 months before we got married. Which was 6-1-09. But has been in our lives for well over a year.

  1. If this con’t, am I able to stop my EX from sleeping over at his girlfriends house while our son is visiting him?

I know this is long, I’m so sorry for that.


#2

I don’t suggest that you encourage your son to refer to your new husband as daddy, but I don’t see that you have. Your ex could allege that you are engaging in behavior intended to alienate your child from him, but based on these facts I don’t see how he could make that allegation.
You cannot stop your ex’s girlfriend from staying with him unless there is an order which prohibits your ex from having overnight guests, or if she is a danger to the child.


#3

We haven’t gone to court over custody yet. Right now I have temp custody of our son.

And my ex live’s with his girlfriend. He use to live with his family but they kicked him out.


#4

Con’t text messages. Need help to understand these please.

text message started with me reminding ex that son is to be back at end of month.

July 2, 2009 9:27:58pm (from ex)

you just don’t know all i have to do is pay someone off and say when…don’t fck with me i pormise you will go down exp now after I seen whos been stay

July 2, 2009 9:28:02p (from ex)

in at the house

July 2, 2009 9:30:24pm (from ex)

oh im not making any threats like i said all i have to do is pay someone off.

July 2, 2009 9:34:31 pm (from ex)

so go ahead i dare ya

July 2, 2009 9:38:55pm (from me)

‘C’ you are a joke, i guess i will make sure my son is back now next weekend. you made a big mistake with those texts.

July 2, 2009 10:08:56 pm (from me)

My attorney and the police will see this.

July 2, 2009 10:21:09pm (from ex)

thats ok

July 2, 2009 10:28:43 pm (from me)

What your gonna lie about saying this stuff, lol

July 2, 200 11:31:38 pm (from ex)

tell ya chit …(tryin to keep bad worlds out of here)

I’m sorry I have written what was said in the text messages, but I didn’t want to seem confusing when trying to ask this question.

Does any of this sound like a threat?
He said all he has to do is pay someone off. What is that saying?
I need someone else to also tell me what that means. I think I know what that means but by other’s opinions on that saying, I would like to know.

thank you, and sorry again.


#5

I understand I put TMI, but I would really like to know if this was a threat coming from my ex. Please anyone.


#6

I think you and your ex are engaging in pointless back and forth with the texts. With each text back and forth, you and he get more angry and ‘threatening’.

If you truely feel threatened for your safety, then take the texts and try to get a protective order against your ex. If not, just stop communicating with your ex unless it has something to do with your son. His time with his son is his…period. Your time with him is yours…period. You can’t make your ex take your son outside or do anything with him, really…just as he can’t dictate how you spend time with him. If your son wants to talk to you or his siblings on his dad’s time, then fine…let him talk, tell him you love him and to have fun at his Daddy’s house and that you’ll see him soon.

Ignore the texts…don’t text back. I know it is hard (been there done that), but it makes a bad situation worse…throws gas on a fire.


#7

:slight_smile:


#8

:slight_smile:


#9

Your post never outlined what your agreed or court ordered arrangement was. I assumed it was your ex’s time with his son.

I certainly didn’t mean to insult.

I just know that texts can be misinterpretated and they can escalate to a point where things get out of hand.

If you fear for your or your son’s safety, then take action via protective order.

You can’t make your ex not be lazy. It wasn’t an insult to you. If he’s hurting your son physically or emotionally, then take legal action. I had a very lazy ex who didn’t do things as we did at home. It was very hard to listen to the kids complain (and cry)…but there was nothing I could do. That’s where different parenting styles came in and clashed. They weren’t in danger…just not used to the way ‘dad’ did things.

Please let the attorney reply. When you post here you will get others’ replied plus the attorney. PLUS you said ‘anyone please’. I guess I fall into that category.

Legally, if your ex is not supposed to have your son, then you have no obligation to allow visitation. If it’s not his ‘weekend’, then it’s not his time. You never spelled out your arragement.


#10

I was trying to be a good parent and allow our son to be with him since it is going on a yr for the temp order.
Everytime I speak to my son on the phone he has to text me with mean stuff. It’s stupid!

I haven’t spoken to my son in three days beause he is being shuffled to this person or that person. I understand ex is working with his family on construction stuff and they need the help. But, shouldn’t I have contact numbers to be able to talk to my son since he isn’t in the care of daddy?

It’s hard being away from your child/children when you have been the soul parent. I know I alllowed this visitation to happen, but there was something that was agreed upon that aren’t being met. What can I do or say to have them met?

Sorry about that cominglcean2. everything is deleted.