Where do I start?


Dear kdzrus:

Greetings. First, your initial instinct to obtain an attorney is the right one. Once you have obtained an attorney, they will likely help you decide which of the following options you want to proceed with:

  1. First, you can use collaborative law to negotiate a settlement between you and your spouse and to determine who should move out and who should stay.

  2. You may be able to obtain a domestic violence restraining order, depending on the abuse and the advice of your attorney.

  3. The possibility exists for you to file for a Divorce from Bed and Board and ask the court to remove him. You would file a claim for post separation support and alimony at the same time though, to ensure that you could pay for the bills.

  4. You could start to negotiate with him in the home in the traditional process of positional negotiation, but I worry that this only leads you down the road of more abuse.

You do not need any information during your first meeting with your attorney, but you will need to obtain financial information documenting the value of all assets.

Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


My husband of 17 yrs is mentaly/emotionally abusive. Very controlling. My oldest son and my self are in counceling because if him. there are others that could use it too. I have been an at home mom for 15 of the 17 yrs we have been married. I have no real idea other then getting an attorney. What kinds of info will I need to have when I go? We have to get him out or us out.