Wife is Cheating


Ok, so my plot thickens. I discovered 2 days ago that my wife has been responding to men in personal ads on craigslist. I’ve printed out all of the correspondence and she is planning to go on a date with one of the men this weekend. If/when she does go… can I change the locks and throw her out of the house? Bottom line is, I want physical custody of our children and I want her gone.


She has to be going with the intent of staying gone (i.e. packing some things to take with her). However, look into a divorce from bed and board. It is the one action that is fault-based and adultery is one of the reasons, although you’ll probably have to get useable proof of adultery if the emails you obtained were gotten illegally.


Thanks Athos. Can you define “emails you obtained were gotten illegally?” We’ve always known each others passwords, no secrets and check on each others online activity from time to time.

What are some ways to prove adultery? Do I need to catch them in the throws with a camera? Does a date constitute adultery?

Sorry I’m so uninformed with this stuff.


I’m not an attorney, but if you have always given each other access to each other’s email accounts, then you are probably safe, however, you might have to prove that that has always been the case. Erin will advise you better on that one. Generally speaking, if you haven’t been granted explicit access to one’s email account, the emails were communicated with the intent of being private, so to hack into someone’s account would be virtually the same as opening someone’s else’s snail mail as far as the courts are concerned.

For proof of adultery, the requirement for proof is basically proving both inclination and opportunity. I’d say that answering a personal ad might prove inclination especially if it is definitely romantic or sexual in nature, but opportunity would probably have to be something like an overnight stay, a hotel receipt, etc. Certainly photos would be proof, but a recorded admission of her behavior (either voice or an email from her) would also suffice. As far as a date…hmmmm… I think it goes to prove inclination, but I believe that adultery is still pretty much down to a sex act.


You need to take your e-mails and your concerns to a lawyer immediately. You need to file for a Divorce from Bed and Board as soon as possible before your wife can start sprewing allegations against you. You need to file first!!! It will help you in the long run!


Thanks bmkdmw. I know I need to file but I’ve been one of the masses collecting unemployment for three months now. So I am trying to gather as much info as I can until I can improve my situation. She is meeting with him tomorrow for dinner and Im freaking out. I don’t want to tail her and bring the kids along. She keeps getting violent and I keep going for walks!


You may not change the locks unless your wife moves out. I do suggest you speak with an attorney regarding a claim for divorce from bed and board (a legal way to have her removed from the home) in the near future.