I know my husband can dispute the amount cse comes up with and in that case they will appoint me an attorney to represent me on the issues of childsupport. will they appoint an attorny for issues regarding custody? How risky is it to fight a custody battle pro se?
I’m willing to give him him 35% visitation that puts us on worksheet B which i’m fine with. I want the kids to have a relationship with their father. he’s insisting on 150 (which lowers the support some more) and if i don’t agree it to it he’ll fight me for 50/50.
His primary job requires him to work 10 over nights a month and his secondary job is mon-fri 8-5.
I work 9-2 mon-fri (as of may 1st, was a sahm for 4 years) so i will only work while their in school.
Is it likely he’d get 50/50 just based on those facts?
in your opinion is giving him 35% (working around his schedule) reasonable, should i give more? I want to maintain primary custody b/c I think that’s whats best for them, they need structure they need their mom and dad, not a third party providing care while he works, considering i’m available.
FWIW, you can still grant 50/50 schedule with him, but insist upon a “first right of refusal” clause. This clause basically says that if he must work or be away from the children longer than whatever number of hours you agree upon, then you are able to state that the children come stay with you. Personally, that is what I’d do if you are interested in maintaining the structure for the children. If he starts abusing this by constantly not keeping his visitation periods or the children regularly end up sleeping at your house 20% more time than agreed upon, then you can go back and file for a modification based upon the fact that the situation has changed.
He isn’t likely to sign an agreement with a right of first refusal that would make it impossible for him to keep the children overnight if he’s working.
Right, i understand he’s not going to agree to that. he wants his overnight count to be as high as possible to avoid paying support.
But is it ikely that a judge would grant me right of first refusal? My arguement being that it is in the best interest of the children for them to be with their parents vs a third party. there is still 20 nights a month that he COULD have the kids overnights, i’m not trying to prevent him from having the kids overnight (clearly I offered him 127 overnights per year plus holidays/vacations) i’m just trying to avoid them not being with one of us whenever possible.
I know nobody can guarantee what a judge would do, and i hate this about the whole process, i’m a planner and the unknown is scary business.
Chances are that if he’s not going to be there overnight and the kids will be left with someone other than family during that time, the judge will find that it’s in the children’s best interests to be with family. No guarantee, as you said, of course, but if you can prove that the 10 overnights a month are his regular schedule, that is time that a judge will not award. The fly in the ointment is whether or not the grandparents take the kids for overnight during the father’s time. If so, there’s a chance that that time would be awarded to him. (Direct parents will still have the preference, but there is an argument to be made.)
You should probably at least to a consult with an attorney that is familiar with your local court. I think most courts pick a primary, unless there are issues you are not telling us about a former SAHM is probably going to get primary. Split custody arrangements are almost always a result of a settlement here. It does not appear he is in a position of leverage if that is the case, at secondary works out to around 80 nights a year. The contested difference is 22 days per year (35% which is 128 nights vs 150).