Adultery Times Two


#1

Dyanna, get ready for a battle. Be smart. Get all your old account numbers out and you can prove what was in them when you seperated. call all of your credit cards out and call them to see if you are stiol on them. Retain a lawyer with that. Get all the money you can off of them . If you are just an authorized user you will not be responsible for repayment. Get off every card you can because even as an anuthorized user it will go against your credit if he goes into deffault You have to think like an investigator and become one. No one will do it for you. Trust me …you are on your own. It gets awful. Good luck…Rainm


#2
quote:
Originally posted by raingurl
Get all your old account numbers out and you can prove what was in them when you seperated. call all of your credit cards out and call them to see if you are stiol on them. Retain a lawyer with that. Get all the money you can off of them

Thanks Rain for not bashing me firstly and for this advice…however, I dont have ANY access to anything as far as bills or account numbers as husband had taken ALL papers of importance etc out of the house and has been keeping them at his office. He has also had all the bills forwarded to his office so no bills or such come here to the house any longer. We dont have credit cards and havent for years, mainly as a result of filing for bankruptcy and prior to that also using my trust fund to pay off debts. I have absolutely no access to funds save for what husband gives to me weekly to pay for food and gas. My first paycheck wont be coming from my very part time job until the end of this month and its not going to be much…not nearly enough to pay for even a consult fee with an attorney. I have contacted several attorneys here by referal from friends though they want their fee paid up front-which I can understand of course. I cant even “hold back” any extra money from my food/gas allowance as husband has now taken to asking me for ALL reciepts of EVERYTHING I purchase and tracks it. I do have family but they cant help me–I have asked numerous times…nearly begged actually to no avail. Right now things are worse here for me as husband is threatening me again ( still ) that hes going to fight me for full custody. He says he is also going to make sure he will NOT have to pay me allimony and honestly I dont care about that. I just want him gone and I want my children here with ME though he insists he IS the better parent and that hes sown far more seeds in them than I have over the years; that he will even have the two older kids testify on his behalf that he is a better parent–if he has to and says he also has proof. As I have said–my own affair was indeed wrong and I dont have any real excuses to justify my behavoir though I do have reasons that seem “legit” to me it still doesnt make what I did right; but too, it doesnt make what husband did right or better either and hes seemingly forgotten what his affair and the child born from that did to me emotionally and what it also did to us and our marriage even in spite of all the counceling and such over the years. You can have trust but you cant hold it…you can gain trust but can quickly lose it…if trust is treated with care it can be wonderful but if that trust is betrayed…it breaks and its so incredibly hard if at all possible really to get it back. I understand this from both sides now[:(] I was told by a PI the other day that I might want to look into going to the courthouse and retaining a temporary child custody form and filing it in case husband decided to take the kids on a beach trip or what not and not bring them back…I was told that kids in NC are considered a commodity (?) and that if husband was to take the kids theres NOTHING I can do to get them back!??

Thanks again Rain!


#3

Dear Dyanna:

Greetings. Since when do I bash people for their posts? That makes me sound like the evil overlord of the forum! LOL

Okay…answers:

  1. First, adultery typically has no affect on custody, so that is not a true statement.

  2. Why would he have three attorney and WHY would he pay them $1,000 an hour - are you millionaires?

  3. He will not have to pay you alimony due to your affair, since you condonned his affair and then committed your own. Now, you may argue that you both had affairs, but I think that you condonned him based on the information you provided herein.

  4. Now, he still does have to give you half of all the marital property and child support if you have visitation with the children. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

D. Your husband is just a big bully. He wants you to be afraid. Mine did all these things and yes horded everything at his office. Your lawyer will make him cough it all up at discovery and what ever was there at seperation will be half yours. Don’t sweat it. Divorce court in this state is such a joke…You will probably do just as well if you represent yourself and just read up on the laws. I hate it here so bad…very backward place.Anyhow, He has to give you half. He will never be able to take your kids from you, YOU stay the primary. Your husband sounds just like mine, who I wish would drop dead, when it comes to money a man will do anything.It is their trophy. Without it who are they? So don’t get locked in his mind game. Get mad sure, but don’t let him ruin your life. Go live play enjoy your days and let things take care of themselves. They will. Yes true you will have to work at your settlement. but it will be settled. JUst take care of you and be smart about how much money you set this thing suck you for. Make him pay it. The court itself will bleed you dry. Vampires.
Are you from here in this state?
Rain


#5
quote:
Originally posted by JanetFritts
Dear Dyanna:

Greetings. Since when do I bash people for their posts? That makes me sound like the evil overlord of the forum! LOL

Okay…answers:

  1. Why would he have three attorney and WHY would he pay them $1,000 an hour - are you millionaires?

  2. He will not have to pay you alimony due to your affair, since you condonned his affair and then committed your own. Now, you may argue that you both had affairs, but I think that you condonned him based on the information you provided herein.

  3. Now, he still does have to give you half of all the marital property and child support if you have visitation with the children. Thank you.


Hi and thank you Janet for your reply!

LOL!! I wasnt intending to direct the “please dont bash me” at you…or anyone in specific–I have just found that sometimes being the betrayed and then the wayward spouse tends to bring some negatives!

The three attorneys at $1,000 pr hr was just part of H’s banter to try to bully me–I did believe it intially but do know better! [V] From what I am being told now by H is that he hasnt even retained much less had ONE consult with an attorney here. He does have a lot of “buddies” who have been through divorce and I do believe much of his “consults” have been derived from them. The alimoney isnt really that much of an issue to me or for me honestly…once I am more established in this new job ( I am a personal trainer ) and get my client base set I wont need it from H and rightfully I dont “deserve” it.
Thanks again Janet!


#6

Good luck in your growing business. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#7

I have a few ?'s in regard to divorce using adultery as the cause/reason. Please dont bash me for my post! My husband of 15 yrs had an affair that lasted several months and a child was born from this affair. During that time I “took” him back and in turn I also concieved another child though I had no idea that the OW was also pregnant by husband until shortly before she delivered. Paternity did prove he was indeed the father. H has been paying CS since the paternity was determined. In the meantime I was struggling with the usual emotions of being betrayed but my heart knew I would never get over this…try as I did and we did seek individual as well as martial councel together. I knew several years ago that I wasnt going to be able to deal with this much longer. Husband also knew that it was just too much of a strain for both of us. In turn I met someone whom I became emotionally close to and began a long term emotional affair with. Things didnt become physical with us until recently. H began suspecting and he did some of his own “investigating” part of which included his literally breaking into my vehicle, trashing it to give the appearance that it was done randomly and in turn removed some of my personal belongings from the vehicle–several letters that were written but not sent or given to the third party and my journals. After several weeks of him baiting me he finally told me that he knew because of the evidence he found when he broke into my truck. While I know that this isnt tit for tat between us H has now decided we are going to divorce as a result of MY affair. He has told me that he CAN and WILL get full custody of our three children together as he will use my letters and journaling to prove that I am not only an adulter but also an unfit mother. Our last child was born nearly 6 yrs ago and has disabilities. He has told me that he will NOT have to pay me one red cent and that his THREE attorneys are the best in the area and are costing him an arm and a leg( $1,000 an hour [8)]) but hes going to win. I have been a stay at home mother since the birth of our first child 13 yrs ago but just very recently started working part time. H has also removed me from all the joint accounts therefore I have no access to anything as I used to have and I havent been able to retain an attorney of my own as I dont have available funds. There are MANY other things that H has done that are completely out of line although I do understand his feeling hurt and betrayed I dont think that I need to be punished mentally for this as hes seemingly forgotten about his own indiscretions of years ago…though he says his attorneys have told him his affair and his child born from that affair mean nothing for his case…that because my affair is more recent and I “forgave” H by going on to have another child it means nothing and hes said that his attorneys advised him to shut me off from ALL funds and such. I accept full blame and responsiblity for my own part and fault but I also feel that I must have SOME rights in spite of all this yes?
Again, Please dont bash me for this:(