Clearing the air


#1

Do yourself a favor and don’t clear the air with I did this I did that. Clear the air with sorry and lets move on. The more you know th worse it is. Trust me.Sadly, I will never view my stbx the same. I know WAY too much. I am afraid for my kids to be with him, and have found that nothing is off limits to this person. Trust be. Only know what you truly think you can handle

ldb


#2

I would have to agree. If you know that the marriage is over then the only thing to gain by “clearing the air” for either of you is bringing up more hurt feelings and anger. You can’t change any of it or make up for it.
For the sake of closure, forgive yourself if you did something that worked towards the demise of your marriage, forgive your spouse too. Realize that there were a lot of events that may have led you to this point and that it takes two to make a marriage work or fail. Grieve for the relationship if you need to and know that you have now learned what NOT to do.
“If you insist on holding onto an injustice or injury you are the one that continues to be hurt.”

Eventually, you may end up like I am. I was devistated at the time that we split up. But I’m no longer sad that that part of my life is over. Instead I’m grateful for what it was and what it taught me. Good luck to you.


#3

If the marriage is over it is positive to clear the air and come clean? My wife has done some things I know of and some things I believe I know of. Neither of us has been a saint. We both have issues. Is it worth the emotional risk to clear the air to know everything? Part of me wants to know for the sake of closure, part of me doesn’t want to know everything. I am asking my therapist this questions tomorrow, never thought I would be the type for therapy. Sometimes life just freaking sucks.

Just checking.