Confused and angry


After 10 plus years of marriage my stbx says he wants a divorce. His reason…because I am on drugs…I am letting men in and out of our house while he sleeps…I am having an affair…I have allowed my lover to live in the attic…and oh yeah people are following him around town because of me. Backround: My stbx has been a functioning drug and alcohol abuser for many years. He has become increasingly paranoid over the last 4 years…I thought it was just stress but now in hindsight it was probably the drugs. I was not aware of his cocaine use untill he tried to beat me up two years ago and I found out he had been sniffing coke prior to the incident. It just hurts so much because I really wanted our relationship to work. I just can’t fiqure out what I did wrong. Before he left he said my problem was I was listening to the other man who did not love me. Deep down I know I should just be glad he is gone and move on. Lord knows my stress level is down 1000%. I am not nervous about how my words or actions will be taken even my daughter is more comfortable at home. When will the hurt stop!!!


I understand well how you feel. My stbx has been gone for 4 months. I am starting to be glad. He may have been abusing prescription drugs, but more than that, I have finally figured out he is a psychopath. A bipolar psychopath. Now that he’s gone, I feel like I’m coming out from under hypnosis or something…and finally starting to see and think clearly. It still hurts, but for so long I’ve been on eggshells, my children have been on eggshells, and no matter what we did or didn’t do, it never was enough.
In fact, I have since discovered that he’s been having an affair for 2 years? Do I want him back? Not even an iota! He was not who he pretended he was…You know, women can fake orgasms, but men can fake entire relationships! It will be a long court battle for me, and I may comce out worse off, for he is very sly, deceptive, manipulating, intelligent, and has so many people fooled!
Not me anymore! I am concentrating on repairing the damages, emotionally and physically, and I hope that I can live the rest of my days in peace. We were married for dog years!
It has aged me considerably, and I just pray that the children are not permanently damaged.
I thought I would die when he left. Really. Now, I’m starting to see that when we were together, I was dying anyway. It was a slow death.
Keep hope, for the time will come soon when you will look back and see that this is the best thing for you and for your daughter. He is on a downhill journey, and if you stay together, it will only get worse. My prayers for you.