Divorce abandonment

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
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I was in a relationship outside of my marriage in 2010 and my spouse found out. We tried to work things out for about a year to no avail. We decided we could not work out the issues about June 2011. She was and currently is a stay at home mom. 100 percent of my income goes into our joint account and it is supposed to pay our bills and mortgage which are mailed to our house. We have four children together, 11 9,7,4. I have medical insurance which covers all of us currently through my employer. She only allows limited time for me to see them one day a week at best, and never an overnight. I visit them in our home and she does not allow me to take the kids outside the home except to take them to dinner on occasion.

There is currently no separation agreement.

I just called the mortgage company and we are currently three months behind, and pretty much all other bills are as well. She has not paid any bills since November 2011. I do not take any money ~ she gives me 40 dollars per week for gas, and I have those receipts. I asked to take some money to buy the children Christmas presents and she said no, so I borrowed money from my parents. Our joint account is empty at this point, but my checks are still direct deposited into that account twice a month. Before my credit is 100 percent shot, and my house loan goes into default what should I do and what rights do I have on the house, our kids, our assets?

What are the legal ramifications if she opens or uses credit cards that are/were in our names since our “separation?”
I had only taken a suitcase with me when she asked me told me to leave, should I try to move back in until a separation agreement is made?
Should I close the bank account and open a new one just in my name?
Should I have all the bills forwarded to my address and pay them?
What legal ramifications would occur if I was to have the children spend overnights with me?
What monies should I be giving to her since no written separation agreement exists and she does still maintain the childrens’ daily well being?

I currently have no access to money. Is there free legal resources that could help with properly filing separation paper work (I do not want it to be determined that I abandoned my home and lose all legal rights to my children and assets)?

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anyone know the turn around on attorney response time for these questions? It’s been a more than a week now.
thanks

3

The replies usually don’t take this long, I hope you get your answers soon.

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What are the legal ramifications if she opens or uses credit cards that are/were in our names since our “separation?”

If the debts are incurred to pay a joint obligation then they are marital. If they accrue solely for her benefit then they are separate. All that said, if the cards are in your name, the creditors can seek payment from you. You should remove her access from all credit accounts, and contact the 3 credit bureaus to place fraud alerts on your credit reports to prevent her from opening new credit in your name.

I had only taken a suitcase with me when she asked me told me to leave, should I try to move back in until a separation agreement is made?

If you moved out and established residence elsewhere then you could be arrested for trespassing if you return to the marital home without her permission.

Should I close the bank account and open a new one just in my name?

You should open a new account solely in your name and have your check deposited there.

Should I have all the bills forwarded to my address and pay them?

It is in your best interest to ensure all debts in your name continue to be paid.

What legal ramifications would occur if I was to have the children spend overnights with me?

If there is no agreement or court order to the contrary then you have the right to equal access to the children.

What monies should I be giving to her since no written separation agreement exists and she does still maintain the childrens’ daily well being?

You should provide support in accordance with the child support guidelines. You can find a calculator here:

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thank you for all your help, and all you do to help others!