How would you react to this?


#1

my grandpa is in the hospital with viral pneumonia, and i told my husband (prob. stbxh) about it, because i was upset and needed someone to talk to. his reaction to me being upset was to tell me to shut the ‘h’ up and get over it 'cause my grandpa is old and probably going to die soon anyways. i got even more upset, and told him where to go, and now he’s demanding an apology from me for my attitude, but i refuse to apologize until he does. to me, what he said was just above and beyond cruel, and he knew how much it would hurt me. opinions?


#2

IMHO, it does not seem to me that you are friends or that your feelings are important, for whatever reason.
My husband and I are both realists. We know that no matter how painful it is, it’s inevitable. It’s life and no one makes it out alive.
On his birthday he will start discussions about making our funeral arrangements, because logically, when your thinking of your birthday and getting older, it is when you think of these things that need to be put in order. But he also realizes that you are never really prepared to lose someone, no matter how much you think you are. I recently lost my father and my husband has been more supportive than I could have ever imagined. Knowing that something will happen does not make it less painful. Knowing that this is the way of life does not mean it does not still knock the wind right out of you when it happens.

Your spouse has either never lost anyone close to him or honestly does not care if he hurts your feelings. You are the only one who can decide whether or not to forgive him his lack of emotional support.
Though I have found that just because someone is unkind to me does not give me the right to be unkind in return. If I say something because I’m upset even though I have been provoked, it only reflects badly on my character if I do not apologize. That is what I have realized and everyone has to deal with their situation differently.


#3

I have the same question. Im so glad that somebody already submitted the answer. Thank you so much!


#4

I agree with you; your husband needs to apologize to you. That was an incredibly cruel and insensitive thing for him to say to you.


#5

If your husband has asked apologies from you then what is the issue. He might be stressed or in some other state of mind while he said so and then he realized his mistake. you should also overlook it.


#6

Because the point is, that it sounds like he is asking for an apology, without ever giving one in the first place, or even admitting he said anything inappropriate? How galling would it be to rub salt into the wound he created by apologizing for reacting to his inflammatory statement, while he just sat being Mr. Innocent and totally blameless in this situation.


#7

FWIW having a bad day or being stressed is no excuse for making someone you “love” your personal verbal punching bag. Not only what he said, but the manner in which he said it was deliberately hurtful in this case. While her reaction may not have been the best either, he should man up and apologize.


#8

Hi, for me it’s okay to accept his apology because he is aware that he offended you. just let him know that you really hurt that bad because of the reaction that he showed to you. it’s a lesson to learn…


#9

let me clarify…my husband is NOT apologizing to me, he’s DEMANDING that i apologize to him.


#10

Seem to me he may be narcissistic like my husband. Look into it -as I was devastated
when I researched it, how on point it was with his bizarre behavior. And quite frankly that is not a normal response to the situation.