Greetings. Yes, you may be able to sue her, but not him, for alienation of affections. First though, I would settle up your issues with your spouse and make sure not to sign off on a third party waiver, which will then not allow you to sue this person in New York. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.