I absolutely concur with what Tangled wrote above. Every minute you waste is a mistake. Call for a consultation with an attorney TODAY. Get in as soon as possible. A consultation is not all that expensive, and nothing (such as a retainer agreement) has to be signed right then and there. Call TODAY, do not hesitate! While this site is excellent, they are very busy and your post was a long one, it could be a bit before they can respond and you need to call TODAY.
An attorney can advise you of the steps you need to take, what you can expect, and how to protect assets NOW. They can also advise you as to what you should say when dealing with him, how to set up visitation for your son (if any under the circumstances, although there are steps you need to take to prevent him from getting unsupervised visitation if he is violent or abusive) , and perhaps most importantly, can help you file for custody of your son ASAP. Money grubbing, lazy men like your soon-to-be-ex will think NOTHING of keeping your son after a visitation, and posession is 9/10ths of the law without a custody order. HE HAS EQUAL RIGHTS TO YOUR SON, he could even pick him up from daycare. It does NOT matter that you are married to this guy, or that he is your son and you are the Mom - you need a legal custody order ASAP.
I am NOT giving legal advice here, but it sounds as if a domestic restrainig order could be helpful in this situation if he is violent or abusive, that would keep him out of the house and help with the unsupervised visitation issue… Again - consult one of the attorneys, call to set up that consultation TODAY.
Just becasue he SAYS he will sign over the house and the suburban to you does NOT mean he will do it, and verbal agreements count for little in a divorce battle. The equity in the home is marital property, anything you acquired during the marriage is marital property - regardless of who paid for it. Again, talk to an attorney ASAP because once he actually does talk to an attorney of his own, all bets are off about ‘agreeing’ to sign over anything to you. FORGET ABOUT FAIR. FORGET ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU EARNED IT ALL. You are unfortunately going to discover, as many of us have, that fair and just has little to do with real life in a divorce. Lazy men DO sometimes get alimony in this state, and if he gets his hands on your son he will get child support too.
As for his claims of seeing an attorney about child support, you can use the NC site to figure out what child support should be. They have calculators on this site as well. So don’t assume that just because he talks about having an attorney he has one… his demands are going to become MUCH more once he actually has a consultation with an attorney and figures out what his lazy-butt self is entitled to.
Bottom Line: CALL for a consultation with an attorney TODAY. Rosen is an excellent choice if you are in their area (you can always call to find that out.) If not, look on their recoomended lawyers page. CALL TODAY… CALL TODAY. CALL TODAY. Additionally, start documenting all of his phone calls, and if possible record them if he gets verbally abusive. Document all of his requests to see his son (very telling if there aren’t actually any requests), all of his phone calls to his son, and any abusive behavior. Are there witnesses other than your daughter? People who can testify on your behalf about the abuse if it comes to that? Keep track of these little details. It IS necessary, don’t fool yourself.
An additional thought is for you to reach out and get into some type of support group. i don’t know if the divorce care groups in your area take separated people, but you can always ask. Talking with others who have been in your situation is immensely valuable. Gather your family, friends, support people and helpful others around you, you are going to need them.
Best of Luck!